My little Kali (The Speedster) crossed the Bridge

[Ladydi]

My boy passed during hurricane Milton in 2024.
I understand your pain.
every time you pinch yourself realizing she is no longer physically with you.
I say this with such kindness…..please…..
Grant yourself the ability to cry.
Crying is good for your soul and your body during times like this…..
If you try to hold back the emotions the stress will build up in your system.
Then that stress will release when you least expect it to…….
So I found it helpful……when my boy passed to cry….really loud screaming cry.
Just let out a good emotional cry and the wave will ease up…..until it returns again.
Expect it to return …because it will.
After time things will get easier for you….and yes time will only ease the pain you are experiencing right now.
So accept the heartfelt emotion that is stabbing the depth of your soul ….I know how your heart feels….a pain that is so intense ….deep in your heart……it just aches so bad.
Go go ahead …cry,whatever….your girl would want you to feel better …I think she would want……whatever it takes to make my people happy and OK.
With most respect and love towards you and yours.
Peace be with you.

 

[JanS]

I just want to think about her or read about what people are saying without crying! I hope will come someday soon

Oh I totally understand that.

Losing all of our dogs has been devastating but Phoebe was the biggest gut punch we've ever experienced. She was so young and fighting so hard but not having very many memories to look back on her makes it even harder. I try to embrace what we have but being that she was a Covid baby we had to shelter her from so many things in the first year of her life.

 

[Gelcoater]

I just want to think about her or read about what people are saying without crying! I hope will come someday soon

A few days ago I was digging around in the center console of my truck looking for a registration of one of my machines.
Stumbled across an envelope of pictures.
Mostly boats, a couple of desert trips with friends and? A picture of me, my daughter Samantha and Maxie (the wonder dog) at Pismo beach. Had to be a 20 year old pic, pre Dobermans.
Later that day I went down and visited her memorial thread here and have to admit. Teared up a bit.
We said so long to her in December 2013.
That started the next chapter. Rocky.

There’s a line in the song Closing Time..
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”-the SuperSonics.
It struck me one day how true that is.

 

[JanS]

We said so long to her in December 2013.
That started the next chapter. Rocky.

Wasn't Daisy next, or did you still have Maxie when you got Daisy?

There’s a line in the song Closing Time..
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end”

Every time I hear that song I think the same thing.

 

[Gelcoater]

Wasn't Daisy next, or did you still have Maxie when you got Daisy?

Every time I hear that song I think the same thing.

We got Daisy in 2009

 

[MyBuddy]

My boy passed during hurricane Milton in 2024.
I understand your pain.
every time you pinch yourself realizing she is no longer physically with you.
I say this with such kindness…..please…..
Grant yourself the ability to cry.
Crying is good for your soul and your body during times like this…..
If you try to hold back the emotions the stress will build up in your system.
Then that stress will release when you least expect it to…….
So I found it helpful……when my boy passed to cry….really loud screaming cry.
Just let out a good emotional cry and the wave will ease up…..until it returns again.
Expect it to return …because it will.
After time things will get easier for you….and yes time will only ease the pain you are experiencing right now.
So accept the heartfelt emotion that is stabbing the depth of your soul ….I know how your heart feels….a pain that is so intense ….deep in your heart……it just aches so bad.
Go go ahead …cry,whatever….your girl would want you to feel better …I think she would want……whatever it takes to make my people happy and OK.
With most respect and love towards you and yours.
Peace be with you.

Thank you. That was... quite beautiful actually. And actually something I kind of believe in too. That we need to cry and release those emotions. But sometimes you get so tired of feeling sad. So you try and hold back. Especially when you think everybody thinks you should be 'over' this. So why are you still crying? Of course nobody has said that to me. It's just me thinking it. I mean just reading this, I'm crying again. Sometimes it's almost like a test. To see if you're 'over it.' Like, if I can talk about her or look at pictures without crying that I'm doing 'okay.' I still fail the test.

The other day we were with my son and his family at Culver's. Having a great time and there was something on my son's phone that I wanted to read. I took his phone and my daughter-in-law and I were reading part of a conversation between him and our daughter. We skipped around looking for something else when I saw a portion where they were talking about me and Kali. That struck me in my heart and I whispered to my daughter-in-law, I shouldn't have read that. The pain was back. The tears were welling up and I couldn't stop it. My son looked over and saw my distress and grabbed his phone away and said Come on. Let's go outside. His compassion just made me want to cry more. But we went outside. I said I don't know what's wrong with me. This one seems to really hurt. He said, hey you cried for 6 months over Buddy! You feel every one that passes. I guess so.

Will we ever be case hardened? I guess not.

 

[JanS]

Sometimes it's almost like a test. To see if you're 'over it.'

We never ever get over it unless it's a person who thinks a dog is an item and not a living breathing family member. The bitter sting of reality does start being accepted and it turns into all of the wonderful memories with them but it takes a ton of time.

 

[DD4MSpock]

Thank you. That was... quite beautiful actually. And actually something I kind of believe in too. That we need to cry and release those emotions.

Precisely. So much better to get them out ASAP, Doing so makes room for all the good memories.

But sometimes you get so tired of feeling sad. So you try and hold back. Especially when you think everybody thinks you should be 'over' this. So why are you still crying? Of course nobody has said that to me. It's just me thinking it. I mean just reading this, I'm crying again. Sometimes it's almost like a test. To see if you're 'over it.' Like, if I can talk about her or look at pictures without crying that I'm doing 'okay.' I still fail the test.

Don't hold back. Let it go. If necessary, find people that you can trust.... people who won't judge you for not " getting over it" yet. And grieve with them. You have to do this at your own pace, not anyone else's. How can they judge anyway? They've never experienced the love you did from your pets. Remember her Majesty OEII - "Grief is the price we pay for he love we receive." It's a normal response to an abnormal event in your life. But, definitely let it out. Grieve with your trusted friends who let you take your own time. And, yes, understand that it may very well take some additional time. I mean, how long has it been since it happened? When we had to send Mr. Spock on his journey across the "Rainbow Bridge," it took me at least a year or two... perhaps longer. But I'm glad I got it out. Now I have the most pleasant memories of him. I know he's in a better place, now I just hope I'm worthy enough to join him when it's time.

 

[MyBuddy]

The bitter sting of reality does start being accepted

Yeah, I'm not there yet. I cry just reading this thread, for crying out loud! I can't even say her name. But I do remember I couldn't say Buddy's name out loud for a very long time too. Anybody else feel that way? Sometimes I think it's kind of weird. But I guess I just don't want to hear that name. Just hurts too much. I'm not sure why. Maybe cuz I feel like I'm calling her or something. It's just seems so familiar to me and to realize that she's not here pains me.

 

[Sunje]

Yeah, I'm not there yet. I cry just reading this thread, for crying out loud! I can't even say her name. But I do remember I couldn't say Buddy's name out loud for a very long time too. Anybody else feel that way? Sometimes I think it's kind of weird. But I guess I just don't want to hear that name. Just hurts too much. I'm not sure why. Maybe cuz I feel like I'm calling her or something. It's just seems so familiar to me and to realize that she's not here pains me.

It will take as long as it takes to grieve for her. Please don't pressure yourself to "get over it" faster. I think all of us understand how difficult it is to lose them. Bless your son and daughter in law for their compassion and understanding.

 

[JanS]

I can't even say her name. But I do remember I couldn't say Buddy's name out loud for a very long time too. Anybody else feel that way?

Oh yes and it took years for me to watch a video of any of them.

Grieve with your trusted friends who let you take your own time. And, yes, understand that it may very well take some additional time.

That is so true and why I need to talk with all of our members here because everyone understands and knows it takes a long time. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I didn't come here and get the support from people who cry with you and would never tell you to "get over it".

 

[jazzies mum]

I don't know why but my grieving for my dogs hits me just as hard as losing my husband did. My doc told me that intense grief should be over in 3 months and then a slow easing. That was bollocks!

We are all so different and cope in different ways but there is no "right" way or time and no one should ever judge another for how they deal with grief.