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Daisy

Such precious photos, Gel!

I know words do little to ease the pain of your loss but just know that we are all thinking of you.

Keep the memories close to your heart.
 
@Gelcoater I just wanted to check in and see how you and Rocky (and the rest of your family) are doing today...
I hope Rocky is starting to feel a little (even just a tiny bit) more comfortable and confident.
 
@Gelcoater I just wanted to check in and see how you and Rocky (and the rest of your family) are doing today...
I hope Rocky is starting to feel a little (even just a tiny bit) more comfortable and confident.
We have our ups and downs.
They keep saying I need to get out of the house which I have been trying to do.However I don't see how crying whe I drive is any better than on the couch? Or the side of the house? Or standing over the spot she took her final breath?
The evenings seem to be getting better but my mornings are hell.

My wife is coping, I'm thankful for a strong wife. I'm pretty sure she's never seen this much emotion from me, ever.

One daughter I suspect has pretty much buried her emotions after Sunday.I feel bad for her, she has so much on her plate right now with school and an issues from last year regarding a grade is grinding. We have to meet the school admin, it better go well because I'm in no mood.
Since December 2015 she's lost my grandfather, my wife's dad in February and now this. Life is giving her a raw deal this last years amount of time.
And then there's the older daughter, she's coping the best I think?
She was born with Downs Syndrome, her mental capacity is somewhere around a 2nd grade level in some ways.In others she's very much late teen like. She expels her emotions through exercise, mostly dancing and Tia-Bo. She gets to be a sweaty mess.:D
 
Good Lord. It HAS definitely been quite a shit year for you guys. Every time I've been really, really down about something, it drives me absolutely nuts when people come with, "You've gotta get out, fresh air, be around people, live life, etc., etc." On one hand I can see the benefit of minimizing isolation because once I start to isolate myself it tends to get more and more severe to a point where I can't even bear the thought of opening the front door and seeing someone. But...(and this is the bigger point for me) the "pros" regarding grief also always tout the woes of "masking feelings and not grieving properly" because "stuffing" stuff almost always ensures that at some point it will just explode and be worse than the original feelings would have been. I think with everything in life (grief, love, diet, EVERYTHING) moderation is the key. I so do not subscribe to the "fake it till you make it" mentality. If you're getting out a little, having some small victories with Rocky, and feeling like you're able each day to better put one foot in front of the other, then keep doing what you're doing. I was in my doctor's office one day, and I saw a little decorative plaque that said, "Smile, you never know who might be falling in love with you right now." When I made it into the exam room, the doctor asked what I needed to talk about; I said the first thing I wanted to talk about was that stupid plaque...Why would anyone give a shit who was falling in love with them if it was because they were smiling when they didn't feel happy? I guess that innocent, smile-admiring stranger would have a rude awakening when the "smiler" quit smiling and actually emoted honestly!
Most humble apologies for the above rant!!

Actually, I just scrolled up to freaking remember why I went off on that tangent, and it actually relates to your daughter and the grade as well. She freaking has so much on her plate that actually feeling the emotions is too much to balance, and the stupid school bull crap isn't helping. Is it only with one grade and one teacher? Will the teacher be in the meeting? If this has been going on forever, and you've been talking to the same people and getting nowhere, maybe right off the bat bring up that for the sake of everyone's time, perhaps another administrator/counselor (sometimes that's better) should join the meeting or perhaps re-schedule for when that person is available. (You might have already done this, but I just know it sort of starts making principals squirm.) Also, I know they (school personnel) always get intimidated and sweaty when you start requesting documentation of EVERYTHING related to the problem....previous grade reports, all written and telephone communication regarding the situation, any unanswered attempts from either party to contact the other, JUST EVERY SINGLE TINY THING (If a class was missed, were that day's notes provided or a time scheduled for your daughter to come get those?) It is the responsibility of every administrator and every single teacher to have documentation readily available...it truly is in their job description, specifically for instances like this when things might need special consideration. Also, make sure the teacher strictly adhered to whatever the policy is for EVERY late assignment, missed assignment, or opportunity to correct a test, etc. to raise a grade.
If they start suspecting (even slightly) that you are thinking about contacting a lawyer who specializes in education, they will be very quickly backpedaling...after all....everything in education (as far as I know) is about money, and even though the school will almost certainly have an attorney on retainer, actually using that attorney would definitely cut into the athletic budget.
OMG @Gelcoater I am so sorry that was so long and it seems like I'm not even worried about anything but the school crap; I promise that isn't true...I just got fired up and kind of wanted to get this sent with the hope maybe you'd get it before that meeting (just in case it could help at all.)
 
We have our ups and downs.


You probably will for awhile. Doesn't grieving suck?



They keep saying I need to get out of the house which I have been trying to do.However I don't see how crying whe I drive is any better than on the couch? Or the side of the house? Or standing over the spot she took her final breath?


The thought is that going will keep you distracted. Does it work? Not for me. Time is the only thing that works for me.
Do what you have to do. It's your grief, handle it your way.
 
You probably will for awhile. Doesn't grieving suck?






The thought is that going will keep you distracted. Does it work? Not for me. Time is the only thing that works for me.
Do what you have to do. It's your grief, handle it your way.
Yes it sucks.
Does going keep me distracted? Apparently not.
 
I had moment of keyboard diarrhea on a different forum, my friend Tom has always seemed to carry some weight with his words in my mind. He offered condolence and this is what came out.


Re: Hug your dog(s)
by Gelcoater » Sat Oct 08, 2016 12:18 pm

Tom Brown wrote:I'm sorry, Larry. I feel your pain, bud.

Thank you, Tom.

I hope you don't mind if I ramble a bit, I need to cry this all out.

Tom, you may or not remember our first conversations over at that place we met. It was 2009, I had just turned 40 years old, the economy had tanked, I was unemployed, at risk of losing the house, etc. I was in a pretty dark place.
You, Dave and of all people Yellowboat were online that night and talked some sense into me, a total stranger.
I'll always be greatful to you for that. The Internet was new to me at the times d most of what I'd seen was rather negative.You guys were a breath of fresh air.

Throughout my childhood I'd been exposed to a couple of Dobermans that were just great dogs, I always admired the breed and told myself one day I would get one.
A few months before that 40th birthday I decided I had to do it. I had plenty of time to train and mold a puppy into a great family dog.My intention was to get a black and rust male to be a companion to our little mutt female.

I studied the breed, read books, read training tips and theory.
One day I got a tip about some puppies available so we as a family went to check them out.
When they rounded the corner towards us as a pack of 10 week old pups do there was a sea of red puppies, not one black and only one male and he was spoken for.

We hung out and played with the pups a bit but I had pretty much already made up my mind to move on to see other litters elsewhere.
Puppies have pretty short attention spans and they all quickly lost interest in us and went back to moshing like puppies do with each other.
This one puppy kept coming back to me. I would shoe her away to go play with her siblings and she kept coming back. She curled up on my shoe and unbeknown to me at the moment stole my heart.

We left that day and a day later I had to go get her. That one with the gray collar.
She became my shadow, my friend, my home security partner, guardian of my daughters, house jester, and the little soul that helped me climb out of my dark funk.

I've heard it said a person can have many dogs over their lifetime but they will only get that one that is "that" dog. That once in a lifetime dog.

Daisy was my once in a life time dog. There will never be another quite like her.
 
One day I got a tip about some puppies available so we as a family went to check them out.
When they rounded the corner towards us as a pack of 10 week old pups do there was a sea of red puppies, not one black and only one male and he was spoken for.

We hung out and played with the pups a bit but I had pretty much already made up my mind to move on to see other litters elsewhere.
Puppies have pretty short attention spans and they all quickly lost interest in us and went back to moshing like puppies do with each other.
This one puppy kept coming back to me. I would shoe her away to go play with her siblings and she kept coming back. She curled up on my shoe and unbeknown to me at the moment stole my heart.

We left that day and a day later I had to go get her. That one with the gray collar.
She became my shadow, my friend, my home security partner, guardian of my daughters, house jester, and the little soul that helped me climb out of my dark funk.
Yes, this is what it's all about to start that great relationship! You made a great decision and I think Daisy and your family were meant to be together. :love:
 
What a week.
The slowest week, yet I can't remember much of it.

I'm on my old phone looking through pictures.

Miss February 2014
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She was so proud of herself this day.She conquered her fear of the pool and went for it!image.jpg

Chasing that darn hawk that dived on us.image.jpg

Her and her buddy Haile.
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The Haile/Daisy selfie I found on her phone, I had no idea she took this picture. This was Daisy.She somehow managed to give to all of us and share special moments.
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The hoseimage.jpg
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Lounging with me.
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Beautiful pictures, Gel...and a beautiful story. I hope you keep sharing your memories with us. I was at work when I saw that Daisy had passed and I must admit I started crying. Like had to leave a room full of people suddenly crying. My heart has been heavy since. When you love a Doberman, any Doberman steals your heart. I love my "Owcher" with my entire being. I can't imagine what losing him will be like. I don't even want to think about it. Hearing about you losing your heart girl made me sad for you because I know how I will be when my goofy red boy leaves me......I'll be broken.

Continue to pray for you and your family.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
The feeling is very mutual. I've been so broken I haven't been able to lend support.I know what you're going through.I think? I suppose everyone's experience with their Doberman is just that. Theirs. We can all relate on some level there.
We received her ashes yesterday. It added a small sense of closure. Jan told me it probably would, and it did.
 
I got Addie's ashes back and they are setting on my dresser in her urn next to my other two dogs. I feel better having them. I know her passing was shocking but having to make that choice is not easy, I unfortunately see it almost everyday. I feel guilty about Addie also. I have done a lot of maybe if I did this or did that, but she went out with her boots on as they say. It sounds like Daisy did the same.
 
image-jpg.66324



A calendar pic if I ever saw one....
 
My wife is coping, I'm thankful for a strong wife. I'm pretty sure she's never seen this much emotion from me, ever.
I think I can relate in a way, Gel.

I believe I have a fair amount of unresolved grief over the loss of my first Dobe, Magnum. My poor wife has gotten to see me really cry twice, I think. It was not when Magnum passed. I shed a few tears then but just like tears rolling down the cheeks. Well actually after plotting and digging his grave in the partially frozen ground and as I carried him to it, I made some out-loud noises.

One evening, years later, wife and I were sitting together in our love seat and just happened to be watching on TV that movie with Jennifer Aniston about a dog. "Molly and Me?" Totally unexpected, but when the dog died I lost it. I couldn't believe what was happening as began to cry. It turned into an out-loud cry.

The other time was on the occasion of my wife's Husky passing away. The dog had been dealing with a large tumor back between her legs. She'd gotten thin and eventually lost most of her appetite. It was a grieving process for my wife, and I grieved with/for her. This was a dog she had gotten in grad school while with a boyfriend. Now here we were married and having lived in two different states and houses together. Good ol' walk-on-water Bella's time came one day when I found that the tumor had burst. Well, to get to the point, I was calm and composed throughout the whole ordeal, even as we stood there in the e-vet room comforting her into the next world. But for some reason, as I was the last one out of the room, I pulled the door almost all the way shut behind me and took one last look at her eyes and lost it. It just felt completely and utterly wrong to leave her body. I think I must have looked like I was trying not to vomit as my wife rushed me out of the building. I was actually trying to choke back the sobs.

Yeah, unresolved stuff.
 
Sorry if that last post was making things too much about me :anonymous :
I would hit the disagree button but I don't want to tarnish your rep. ;)

I consider you a friend, Tad.
So lets get this right.
Don't ever apologize to me again for writing something heartfelt and genuine.
This section is a place to mourn and to remember. It's also a place where your friends can help, share , cry or mourn with you.
There's a healing process that needs to happen. I can feel it happening.
My mornings are hell, but I'm getting better. The last couple if days I've managed to get up, go feed Rocky, and start the day without tears.
Well, until I read your post. But in my emotional state it seems I'm not only shedding a few tears for Daisy but a few for you as well.

It's my hope that people who read this, be they a regular here or someone who just discovered this site can somehow take comfort, or relate. Perhaps reading this some newbie can feel a little more comfortable presenting his or her story. That could help them start their own healing.
Crying and sharing is a part of that healing process.
So again, never apologize for that.

As you've shared, the unresolved stuff can crop up at the worst times. I know, I've been bottling my emotions my entire life.
That changed October 2nd, 2016

I will never be the same again.
I woułd like to think Daisy made me a better person, I know for a fact she's made me a more empathetic person. She opened up something in me I can't close back up.. I know I will never forget her.
 
I came across this today and it made me think of so many of you (myself included) who have lost their beloved dogs and the true bond we have.

Just a dog.jpg
 

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