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My Maggie is gone and I'm devastated.

Discussion in 'Memorials' started by LexDobieLove, Apr 1, 2020.

  1. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you!!!! You are very kind. Yes, I think maybe I need to bring another dog into the house to help her grieve, have someone to play with but I'm not sure. Especially of the when etc. She is also very old and probably has some dementia, she like Maggie, can no longer get on the bed with me, or in my easy chair, etc. Part of me thinks it might piss her off, the other part me, doesn't want to be disrespectful to Maggie's memory. I'm still a mess huh? LOL. Thank you so much for allowing me to share it with you! It's so nice to have unjudgemental friends! I wish I had found this amazing forum earlier!

  2. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you, so much! Yes, It will be nice when this passes. I hope we are at least out of homes by July! Praying for that! Of course, I will stay safe at home as long as it takes to protect myself and others.
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  3. LifeofRubie

    LifeofRubie Active Member

    My first two were rescues and were wonderful dogs! We support both reputable rescues and reputable breeders here!

    I would say that with the situation going on right now, Shelters are bursting at the seams and are looking for adopters or at least fosters. I'm sure you could find a dog in need very quickly if your home was ready for it.
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 1
  4. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Wow, You are amazing, your sweet Dozer was so lucky to have you taking such great care for his every need during such a trying time for you both. What a blessing. I appreciate your amazing words and I thank you. They help so much! This is a wonderful site, that everything going on in the world, people take the time out of their busy lives, to share with me, a perfect stranger and to help comfort me! Thank you and to everyone!
  5. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    MR, Thank you SO much, that helps so much and you are so right. A puppy does help, I'm certain. When do you think the right time is to get a new puppy, to show the proper time of respect to the beloved dog who passed? Thank you for your heartfelt and informative post. I appreciate the food for thought.
  6. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you, that's what I was thinking. Now might be the time to open my heart and move up the normal time I would allow myself to grieve and show respect, due to the current horrible situation.
  7. MojoDojo

    MojoDojo New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. This is my first post here (new member) but I am a long time Dobie owner.
    I lost my big red boy "Axel" last year.
    Look back fondly on those 13 years of memories. The pain will lesson, the love never will.
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  8. Dozersmommy

    Dozersmommy New Member

    I feel that. I still talk to my bug sometimes. His collar hangs in my car on my rear-view mirror.. He never barked much, he would communicate by scratching his collar around his neck to get our attention. Now whenever I go over a bump when I am driving, I hear his collar and for small moments I think he's in the back seat, driving along with me. I know he's in my heart, and I miss him so much. Our new puppy has helped me a lot in distracting myself (a puppy who came with a LOT of behavioral issues that we have been working day and night on.. a great distraction, I must say!), but I have found myself hugging my new puppy crying about my bug and the fact that he is still not here, even if she is. I love her, too, and I know that love will eventually be just as deep as my love for Dozer was, and I appreciate her in her own ways. I still will always miss my boy.
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  9. Maja Rocks

    Maja Rocks $ Forum Donor $

    Thats entirely up to you. But you also have your other dog to consider.
    I know you say Lucy is sad and depressed. A new puppy may be just whats needed to lift both of your spirits or it could be way too much stimulation for an older dog to handle. Only you can judge that.

    As far a showing respect you lost your dog again entirely up to you.
    I wouldn't worry about it follow your heart.

    For me it's always been better sooner than later. But I only have one dog at a time.
    When I lost my 4th Doberman Angel it was to cancer so we knew about how long she had (3 months) and I started my search for breeders and litters because the good breeders usually have waiting lists and I didn't want to be a year or more without a dog.
    I got lucky with a breeder I knew from showing and she moved us to the top of the list and we picked up our new puppy 2 weeks after saying good bye to Angel. I never felt I was disrespecting her memory or replacing her. I knew that Angel loved me and wouldn't want me to be sad for a long period.

    The bottom line is we all handle grief differently.
    So take time to grieve and see what dog the universe has out there waiting for you.
    I have fostered many rescues but never adopted one because with a rescue you don't generally know the health history and breeder. Thats always a huge concern for me because Dobermans have so many health issues and I want to do my best to find a dog that will have a long and healthy life. It's just too painful when I lose them.

    I commend & admire anyone that is willing to adopt a rescue, that takes a special kind of person. Much like adopting children.

    Hang in there you will get thru it.
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  10. jazzies mum

    jazzies mum Hot Topics Subscriber

    I am a great believer in the universe sending you what and who you need, if you give it a chance and go with your gut feelings. Have faith in those feelings and it's amazing how often a little bit of magic happens!
    • Agree Agree x 4
  11. Maja Rocks

    Maja Rocks $ Forum Donor $

    A suggestion please contact your closest Doberman Club.

    Every reputable breeder I know has a "no shelter- no rescue" clause in their sales contract.
    If for ANY reason the dog doesn't work out. The breeder takes the dog back and re-homes them no questions asked. The last thing they want is their dogs in a shelter or rescue scenario.

    As careful as the breeders try to screen where they place their pups there are times it just doesn't work out.

    Sometimes its as simple as a doberman puppy is way more work and commitment than they anticipated.

    Maja is #6 for me and I knew exactly what I was getting into.
    But at age 60 there was a few months I was wondering if I made a mistake as I walked around sleep deprived and exhausted for the 1st 4 months.
    Glad I got her now no way I can do it again in 10 years. LOL!

    Other times its just an unplanned or unforeseen life event.
    Like change in job or job loss , relocation, divorce. The dog doesn't do well with children or other pets. Health issues like someone in the home develops really bad pet allergies. Has serious health issues that prevents them from caring or exercising the dog properly.

    All of these things can lead to wonderful dogs being returned to the breeder and needing a new home.

    You are EXACTLY the kind of person and home they are looking for.
    It's a win/win they find an excellent home for their dog.
    You get an excellent dog from breeder that cares about the breed and their dogs.

    These breeders often have decades of experience researching pedigrees and do extensive health testing. They are dedicated to breeding the healthiest, best temperament and the best examples of the breed standard possible. If you are patient and willing to wait there is a great doberman that needs the home you can provide.

    I understand that you want to rescue a Doberman that is commendable and selfless.
    But be aware there are many health issues from heart to neurological to cancer problems.
    You got lucky and rescued a dog that had a long and healthy life. The last thing you want or need is your next one to have heath problems or keel over suddenly from DCM. I lost a male at age 4 to DCM and I was the breeder. It was devastating.

    Please see this thread Frequently Reported Diseases in Doberman Pinschers

    I am not trying to discourage or scare you in any manner.
    I simply wan't to help you find & rescue a doberman that you can love for many, many years to come. And avoid the heart ache that often comes with rescuing a Doberman that was bred without any regard to the genetic health problems that are prevalent in the breed we love so much.

    Best regards
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  12. GennyB

    GennyB Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    Screenshot_2020-04-02 (1) Doberman Angels Memorial Page.png
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  13. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Welcome! Great Forum here and I am new too! I am sorry for your loss too! Thank you for your support and kind words!
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  14. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    I can tell you still miss your bug, I am so sorry for your loss and I am so glad the new puppy is helping to alleviate your pain somewhat. Puppies do help, for sure. I hope one day when the time is right I have a new puppy too. Thank you!
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  15. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    MR, I appreciate this so much! I think I was lucky! The only thing my girl had was a little leaking and I just gave her Proin and then as she got older she hurt a little and I gave her Previcox. These we late in her life. Even with those few ailments it wasn't inexpensive for sure. I will take your suggestions and reach out to them! Thank You so much for the education!!!!!!! All the best! DE
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  16. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

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