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My Maggie is gone and I'm devastated.

LexDobieLove

New Member
I agree that this time of social isolation is making situations like yours so much harder to bear, but really, it is never easy. That was a beautiful obituary you wrote for her, and remembering the great times through her life will be what gets you through now. Hope you and Lucy can find some peace and happiness soon.
Thank you!!!! You are very kind. Yes, I think maybe I need to bring another dog into the house to help her grieve, have someone to play with but I'm not sure. Especially of the when etc. She is also very old and probably has some dementia, she like Maggie, can no longer get on the bed with me, or in my easy chair, etc. Part of me thinks it might piss her off, the other part me, doesn't want to be disrespectful to Maggie's memory. I'm still a mess huh? LOL. Thank you so much for allowing me to share it with you! It's so nice to have unjudgemental friends! I wish I had found this amazing forum earlier!
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
Thank you for reaching out and sharing. Sorry for your loss. I feel this challenging time in our world will pass pretty soon, and I know your challenging time will get easier and better soon as well.
Thank you, so much! Yes, It will be nice when this passes. I hope we are at least out of homes by July! Praying for that! Of course, I will stay safe at home as long as it takes to protect myself and others.
 

LifeofRubie

Active Member
You are so kind, thank you so much! Yes, I plan to have another Dobie and I hope to rescue again. Part of me would like to buy a pup but in my heart, I just can't, My vet even thought Maggie was purebred but I was so lucky she lived so long and never had any issues. I have always rescued and I just feel like given how many dogs of all breeds need rescuing, it's all I can do. That's just me, to each their own, no judgments of course! I was wondering if getting a Dobie sooner rather than later given COVID and all going on right now if it would help the greater good more? I don't know. I hope it will help my sweet Lucy too. I hope I am there in a month or so. I am sorry your pup was only with you for 1.5 years but I'm so glad you at least had that time together! Take Good Care and thank you again.

My first two were rescues and were wonderful dogs! We support both reputable rescues and reputable breeders here!

I would say that with the situation going on right now, Shelters are bursting at the seams and are looking for adopters or at least fosters. I'm sure you could find a dog in need very quickly if your home was ready for it.
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
I lost my Dozer in November to Cancer. Losing him was harder on me and still is harder than any other death I've ever experienced. I came here, too, looking for a place to grieve my loss. I hope you find some peace here the way I did.
Its really hard to lose these parts of our family, especially after they become a regular part of our everyday life - they depend on you and then we become dependent on that. I was so used to him needing me that it was hard for me to let him go- I didnt even know at that time how much of my day I had devoted to my bug.. it was a lot because his death left a hole in my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Maggie. You are so strong and selfless to take her pain away and hurt yourself so much in the process. You did that for her.. you are her angel for taking away her pain.
Wow, You are amazing, your sweet Dozer was so lucky to have you taking such great care for his every need during such a trying time for you both. What a blessing. I appreciate your amazing words and I thank you. They help so much! This is a wonderful site, that everything going on in the world, people take the time out of their busy lives, to share with me, a perfect stranger and to help comfort me! Thank you and to everyone!
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
I am now on my 6th doberman they are indeed majestic special creatures.
Everyone was the epitome of the breed standard.
Elegant in appearance, of proud carriage, reflecting great nobility and temperament. Energetic, watchful, determined, alert, fearless, loyal and obedient. How does one not love a creature that exhibits such traits and loves you unconditionally?

Yes I cried like a baby and grieved for weeks when it was time to let them go every time.
If you don't you have no heart or soul.
The pain will lessen with time but I found the only way to fill the hole in my heart and life was to get a another Doberman. You never stop loving the ones you have lost. But for me the joy of a new puppy makes it easier
to get past. One simply doesn't have time to dwell on loss when a new puppy takes 110% of your energy & time.

We all here feel your pain and sorrow.
Be well and know that with time this sorrow you fell will pass.
MR
MR, Thank you SO much, that helps so much and you are so right. A puppy does help, I'm certain. When do you think the right time is to get a new puppy, to show the proper time of respect to the beloved dog who passed? Thank you for your heartfelt and informative post. I appreciate the food for thought.
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
My first two were rescues and were wonderful dogs! We support both reputable rescues and reputable breeders here!

I would say that with the situation going on right now, Shelters are bursting at the seams and are looking for adopters or at least fosters. I'm sure you could find a dog in need very quickly if your home was ready for it.
Thank you, that's what I was thinking. Now might be the time to open my heart and move up the normal time I would allow myself to grieve and show respect, due to the current horrible situation.
 

MojoDojo

New Member
Hello Everyone, first a little about me. I am brand new to the forum because I wanted feedback on my grieving.

Maggie was a sweet red Dobie female. She was a rescue, some moron dropped her off on the side of the road as a puppy with a bag of dog food opened and piled on the ground for her to survive on. Anyway, I don't know their situation, I guess I should be grateful they left food for her and that she didn't get hit by a car and that I was very fortunate enough to rescue her!

So I went to a rescue shelter and was approved to resue a sweet Heeler, which when I got there to get Lucy the Heeler, I spotted the Doberman pup of a few months old. I was in love! So, I took the Heeler home and the next day I went back to get Maggie. It was a three-hour trip two days in a row and so worth it!

Maggie was so smart, I was fortunate, both my dogs are brilliant, maybe too much so, I had to really be on my toes. Anyway, as they grew, I grew too and I grew to love her so much.

Maggie has really been a very healthy dog, the only issue I ever had with her was her coat, got funky but over time her hair grew back in, of course, I didn't care I loved her no matter what, but I wanted her healthy so we went to numerous vets and tried everything.

Finally, when I gave up, it just started to grow back over time.

Maggie lived to be 13 years old, but it was a quick death, one day she was healthy and the next day, she couldn't walk (I thought Wobblers). It was AWFUL! Given her age and the fact, the vet thought it would be to hard on her given the pain she was in and her age of 13, he felt it better for her to let her go so that she is no longer in pain.

Of course, I would rather have cut off my own arm but I wanted to do this for her, so I was already on the floor of the vet's office with her and I held her while my Vet gave her an od of anesthetic. She drifted off and went limp. My sweet Maggie was no longer in pain, I sat there and wheeped like a baby. It was devasting.

Now, not to sound harsh, or uncaring on insensitive, I always cry when I lose a dog, especially when I am having them put down to end their misery, I always stay with them as anyone should. That's when they need us most. Anyway, I grieve and then over time, in a week or so I am much better. I never forget or stop caring but Maggie has been almost impossible to get over.

As I write this I cry. Is there some mystical extremely powerful bond that Dobermans have over you, over other sweet loveable dogs? I'm serious here. I'm just not normally a very emotional person, I grieve, I've lost parents and this ranks with the likes of losing a parent!!! That just seems crazy to me, I don't mean to diminish the love I have for my sweet Maggie. But I didn't know where else to turn to ask this.

Granted, I trained Maggie and made her mind and we were indeed connected.

I also wonder if, part of it is, I am stuck at home, Due to COVID-19, here in the States in KY where I am, I have been "safe at home" since March 12, 2020.

So, not leaving my home for anything except to do yard work, walk the dog, etc, may also be taking a toll, no real human interaction except a very very very occasional visit for supplies/food.

It doesn't help that my Heeler/Lucy who is also old/diabetic/on insulin is now depressed, it's heart-breaking.

So, be glad you aren't me! I will be fine and will adopt again but not in some hurry. I like to allow proper time for healing for myself and to show respect for the dog I just lost.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share my feelings with you and this community. I hope you can share your experience and maybe I just need to realize that when I adopt my next Doberman, I may have to realize, like Maggie, she will adopt me too and not want to let go!

I hope wherever you are you are Safe at Home or just Safe if you aren't afflicted with the mess we are in the states and in many parts of the world.

Stay Well,

All the Best!

Dan
I am so sorry for your loss. This is my first post here (new member) but I am a long time Dobie owner.
I lost my big red boy "Axel" last year.
Look back fondly on those 13 years of memories. The pain will lesson, the love never will.
 

Dozersmommy

New Member
I am so sorry for your loss. This is my first post here (new member) but I am a long time Dobie owner.
I lost my big red boy "Axel" last year.
Look back fondly on those 13 years of memories. The pain will lesson, the love never will.
I feel that. I still talk to my bug sometimes. His collar hangs in my car on my rear-view mirror.. He never barked much, he would communicate by scratching his collar around his neck to get our attention. Now whenever I go over a bump when I am driving, I hear his collar and for small moments I think he's in the back seat, driving along with me. I know he's in my heart, and I miss him so much. Our new puppy has helped me a lot in distracting myself (a puppy who came with a LOT of behavioral issues that we have been working day and night on.. a great distraction, I must say!), but I have found myself hugging my new puppy crying about my bug and the fact that he is still not here, even if she is. I love her, too, and I know that love will eventually be just as deep as my love for Dozer was, and I appreciate her in her own ways. I still will always miss my boy.
 

Maja Rocks

$ Forum Donor $
MR, Thank you SO much, that helps so much and you are so right. A puppy does help, I'm certain. When do you think the right time is to get a new puppy, to show the proper time of respect to the beloved dog who passed? Thank you for your heartfelt and informative post. I appreciate the food for thought.

Thats entirely up to you. But you also have your other dog to consider.
I know you say Lucy is sad and depressed. A new puppy may be just whats needed to lift both of your spirits or it could be way too much stimulation for an older dog to handle. Only you can judge that.

As far a showing respect you lost your dog again entirely up to you.
I wouldn't worry about it follow your heart.

For me it's always been better sooner than later. But I only have one dog at a time.
When I lost my 4th Doberman Angel it was to cancer so we knew about how long she had (3 months) and I started my search for breeders and litters because the good breeders usually have waiting lists and I didn't want to be a year or more without a dog.
I got lucky with a breeder I knew from showing and she moved us to the top of the list and we picked up our new puppy 2 weeks after saying good bye to Angel. I never felt I was disrespecting her memory or replacing her. I knew that Angel loved me and wouldn't want me to be sad for a long period.

The bottom line is we all handle grief differently.
So take time to grieve and see what dog the universe has out there waiting for you.
I have fostered many rescues but never adopted one because with a rescue you don't generally know the health history and breeder. Thats always a huge concern for me because Dobermans have so many health issues and I want to do my best to find a dog that will have a long and healthy life. It's just too painful when I lose them.

I commend & admire anyone that is willing to adopt a rescue, that takes a special kind of person. Much like adopting children.

Hang in there you will get thru it.
MR
 

jazzies mum

Hot Topics Subscriber
So take time to grieve and see what dog the universe has out there waiting for you.
I am a great believer in the universe sending you what and who you need, if you give it a chance and go with your gut feelings. Have faith in those feelings and it's amazing how often a little bit of magic happens!
 

Maja Rocks

$ Forum Donor $
You are so kind, thank you so much! Yes, I plan to have another Dobie and I hope to rescue again. Part of me would like to buy a pup but in my heart, I just can't, My vet even thought Maggie was purebred but I was so lucky she lived so long and never had any issues. I have always rescued and I just feel like given how many dogs of all breeds need rescuing, it's all I can do. That's just me, to each their own, no judgments of course! I was wondering if getting a Dobie sooner rather than later given COVID and all going on right now if it would help the greater good more? I don't know. I hope it will help my sweet Lucy too. I hope I am there in a month or so. I am sorry your pup was only with you for 1.5 years but I'm so glad you at least had that time together! Take Good Care and thank you again.

A suggestion please contact your closest Doberman Club.

Every reputable breeder I know has a "no shelter- no rescue" clause in their sales contract.
If for ANY reason the dog doesn't work out. The breeder takes the dog back and re-homes them no questions asked. The last thing they want is their dogs in a shelter or rescue scenario.

As careful as the breeders try to screen where they place their pups there are times it just doesn't work out.

Sometimes its as simple as a doberman puppy is way more work and commitment than they anticipated.

Maja is #6 for me and I knew exactly what I was getting into.
But at age 60 there was a few months I was wondering if I made a mistake as I walked around sleep deprived and exhausted for the 1st 4 months.
Glad I got her now no way I can do it again in 10 years. LOL!

Other times its just an unplanned or unforeseen life event.
Like change in job or job loss , relocation, divorce. The dog doesn't do well with children or other pets. Health issues like someone in the home develops really bad pet allergies. Has serious health issues that prevents them from caring or exercising the dog properly.

All of these things can lead to wonderful dogs being returned to the breeder and needing a new home.

You are EXACTLY the kind of person and home they are looking for.
It's a win/win they find an excellent home for their dog.
You get an excellent dog from breeder that cares about the breed and their dogs.

These breeders often have decades of experience researching pedigrees and do extensive health testing. They are dedicated to breeding the healthiest, best temperament and the best examples of the breed standard possible. If you are patient and willing to wait there is a great doberman that needs the home you can provide.

I understand that you want to rescue a Doberman that is commendable and selfless.
But be aware there are many health issues from heart to neurological to cancer problems.
You got lucky and rescued a dog that had a long and healthy life. The last thing you want or need is your next one to have heath problems or keel over suddenly from DCM. I lost a male at age 4 to DCM and I was the breeder. It was devastating.

Please see this thread Frequently Reported Diseases in Doberman Pinschers

I am not trying to discourage or scare you in any manner.
I simply wan't to help you find & rescue a doberman that you can love for many, many years to come. And avoid the heart ache that often comes with rescuing a Doberman that was bred without any regard to the genetic health problems that are prevalent in the breed we love so much.

Best regards
MR
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
I am so sorry for your loss. This is my first post here (new member) but I am a long time Dobie owner.
I lost my big red boy "Axel" last year.
Look back fondly on those 13 years of memories. The pain will lesson, the love never will.
Welcome! Great Forum here and I am new too! I am sorry for your loss too! Thank you for your support and kind words!
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
I feel that. I still talk to my bug sometimes. His collar hangs in my car on my rear-view mirror.. He never barked much, he would communicate by scratching his collar around his neck to get our attention. Now whenever I go over a bump when I am driving, I hear his collar and for small moments I think he's in the back seat, driving along with me. I know he's in my heart, and I miss him so much. Our new puppy has helped me a lot in distracting myself (a puppy who came with a LOT of behavioral issues that we have been working day and night on.. a great distraction, I must say!), but I have found myself hugging my new puppy crying about my bug and the fact that he is still not here, even if she is. I love her, too, and I know that love will eventually be just as deep as my love for Dozer was, and I appreciate her in her own ways. I still will always miss my boy.
I can tell you still miss your bug, I am so sorry for your loss and I am so glad the new puppy is helping to alleviate your pain somewhat. Puppies do help, for sure. I hope one day when the time is right I have a new puppy too. Thank you!
 

LexDobieLove

New Member
A suggestion please contact your closest Doberman Club.

Every reputable breeder I know has a "no shelter- no rescue" clause in their sales contract.
If for ANY reason the dog doesn't work out. The breeder takes the dog back and re-homes them no questions asked. The last thing they want is their dogs in a shelter or rescue scenario.

As careful as the breeders try to screen where they place their pups there are times it just doesn't work out.

Sometimes its as simple as a doberman puppy is way more work and commitment than they anticipated.

Maja is #6 for me and I knew exactly what I was getting into.
But at age 60 there was a few months I was wondering if I made a mistake as I walked around sleep deprived and exhausted for the 1st 4 months.
Glad I got her now no way I can do it again in 10 years. LOL!

Other times its just an unplanned or unforeseen life event.
Like change in job or job loss , relocation, divorce. The dog doesn't do well with children or other pets. Health issues like someone in the home develops really bad pet allergies. Has serious health issues that prevents them from caring or exercising the dog properly.

All of these things can lead to wonderful dogs being returned to the breeder and needing a new home.

You are EXACTLY the kind of person and home they are looking for.
It's a win/win they find an excellent home for their dog.
You get an excellent dog from breeder that cares about the breed and their dogs.

These breeders often have decades of experience researching pedigrees and do extensive health testing. They are dedicated to breeding the healthiest, best temperament and the best examples of the breed standard possible. If you are patient and willing to wait there is a great doberman that needs the home you can provide.

I understand that you want to rescue a Doberman that is commendable and selfless.
But be aware there are many health issues from heart to neurological to cancer problems.
You got lucky and rescued a dog that had a long and healthy life. The last thing you want or need is your next one to have heath problems or keel over suddenly from DCM. I lost a male at age 4 to DCM and I was the breeder. It was devastating.

Please see this thread Frequently Reported Diseases in Doberman Pinschers

I am not trying to discourage or scare you in any manner.
I simply wan't to help you find & rescue a doberman that you can love for many, many years to come. And avoid the heart ache that often comes with rescuing a Doberman that was bred without any regard to the genetic health problems that are prevalent in the breed we love so much.

Best regards
MR
MR, I appreciate this so much! I think I was lucky! The only thing my girl had was a little leaking and I just gave her Proin and then as she got older she hurt a little and I gave her Previcox. These we late in her life. Even with those few ailments it wasn't inexpensive for sure. I will take your suggestions and reach out to them! Thank You so much for the education!!!!!!! All the best! DE
 

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