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My Maggie is gone and I'm devastated.

Discussion in 'Memorials' started by LexDobieLove, Apr 1, 2020.

  1. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Hello Everyone, first a little about me. I am brand new to the forum because I wanted feedback on my grieving.

    Maggie was a sweet red Dobie female. She was a rescue, some moron dropped her off on the side of the road as a puppy with a bag of dog food opened and piled on the ground for her to survive on. Anyway, I don't know their situation, I guess I should be grateful they left food for her and that she didn't get hit by a car and that I was very fortunate enough to rescue her!

    So I went to a rescue shelter and was approved to resue a sweet Heeler, which when I got there to get Lucy the Heeler, I spotted the Doberman pup of a few months old. I was in love! So, I took the Heeler home and the next day I went back to get Maggie. It was a three-hour trip two days in a row and so worth it!

    Maggie was so smart, I was fortunate, both my dogs are brilliant, maybe too much so, I had to really be on my toes. Anyway, as they grew, I grew too and I grew to love her so much.

    Maggie has really been a very healthy dog, the only issue I ever had with her was her coat, got funky but over time her hair grew back in, of course, I didn't care I loved her no matter what, but I wanted her healthy so we went to numerous vets and tried everything.

    Finally, when I gave up, it just started to grow back over time.

    Maggie lived to be 13 years old, but it was a quick death, one day she was healthy and the next day, she couldn't walk (I thought Wobblers). It was AWFUL! Given her age and the fact, the vet thought it would be to hard on her given the pain she was in and her age of 13, he felt it better for her to let her go so that she is no longer in pain.

    Of course, I would rather have cut off my own arm but I wanted to do this for her, so I was already on the floor of the vet's office with her and I held her while my Vet gave her an od of anesthetic. She drifted off and went limp. My sweet Maggie was no longer in pain, I sat there and wheeped like a baby. It was devasting.

    Now, not to sound harsh, or uncaring on insensitive, I always cry when I lose a dog, especially when I am having them put down to end their misery, I always stay with them as anyone should. That's when they need us most. Anyway, I grieve and then over time, in a week or so I am much better. I never forget or stop caring but Maggie has been almost impossible to get over.


    As I write this I cry. Is there some mystical extremely powerful bond that Dobermans have over you, over other sweet loveable dogs? I'm serious here. I'm just not normally a very emotional person, I grieve, I've lost parents and this ranks with the likes of losing a parent!!! That just seems crazy to me, I don't mean to diminish the love I have for my sweet Maggie. But I didn't know where else to turn to ask this.

    Granted, I trained Maggie and made her mind and we were indeed connected.

    I also wonder if, part of it is, I am stuck at home, Due to COVID-19, here in the States in KY where I am, I have been "safe at home" since March 12, 2020.

    So, not leaving my home for anything except to do yard work, walk the dog, etc, may also be taking a toll, no real human interaction except a very very very occasional visit for supplies/food.

    It doesn't help that my Heeler/Lucy who is also old/diabetic/on insulin is now depressed, it's heart-breaking.

    So, be glad you aren't me! I will be fine and will adopt again but not in some hurry. I like to allow proper time for healing for myself and to show respect for the dog I just lost.

    Thank you so much for allowing me to share my feelings with you and this community. I hope you can share your experience and maybe I just need to realize that when I adopt my next Doberman, I may have to realize, like Maggie, she will adopt me too and not want to let go!

    I hope wherever you are you are Safe at Home or just Safe if you aren't afflicted with the mess we are in the states and in many parts of the world.

    Stay Well,

    All the Best!

    Dan
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 8
    • Empathetic Empathetic x 5
  2. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I am so sorry and feel your pain!! It can be so devastating losing these Dobermans. They are so connected to you as an owner. I, too, grieve hard. :( My boy, Buddy is 12 years old and I count every day as a blessing! My last two Dobermans were 10 when they passed. I'm glad you've joined us here! We are a great group and welcome all dogs and other animals too! :thumbsup: Join in the conversations and post up pictures of your heeler!
     
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  3. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you, so much and I am so glad you are enjoying Buddy. They give us so much! Thank you, again!
     
  4. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    The Above is my sweet Maggie, Excuse the Christmas in the background.
     
  6. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    [​IMG]
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 9
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  7. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    She is the queen of the forrest/my unmowed backyard! :)
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
  8. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    Beautiful! Tears at my heart. :( They are such majestic creatures!
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
  9. Viemarangelrock

    Viemarangelrock Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    So sorry for your loss :(

    Every time I have lost a sweet friend I have sworn that never again will I lay myself open to the heartbreak. But I do.
    As time passes the raw pain will too. But yes, there will always be a little part of you that weeps for your friend that is what makes them so special.
    The connections we have with them can be very powerful. When we loss them it can be shattering. I feel your pain :(

    Your grieving is totally normal. Don’t be afraid to cry, it takes time to heal.

    Take care of yourself and remember we are always here x
     
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  10. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Yes, they are and she sure was. Thank you so much!
     
  11. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thanks for your kind words, helps a lot. Sharing it and getting it all out, was cathartic and helped a great deal! So nice to have new friends on here! Thank you!
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
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  12. JanS

    JanS DCF Owner Administrative Staff Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I'm so sorry for your loss and we totally feel your pain here. :sorrow: It sounds like you gave her a great life and made the most responsible decision to let her go when the time came. I take it hard; in fact maybe harder than losing a close person when they're by our side all the time.
    What a beautiful girl!

    Welcome and make yourself at home.
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  13. LifeofRubie

    LifeofRubie Active Member

    I bawled my eyes out when my last boy passed. I will still tear up, 5 years later, when I look at picture of that big goofy boy and he was with me for only 1.5 short years. I can't imagine how you feel after 13.

    I couldn't be dogless so I started looking for a puppy shortly after and Rubie came home with me about 3 months after his passing. She helped keep me busy and gave me another dog to dote on.

    I'm so glad you have Lucy as it helps to have someone to grieve with.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
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  14. jazzies mum

    jazzies mum Hot Topics Subscriber

    I agree that this time of social isolation is making situations like yours so much harder to bear, but really, it is never easy. That was a beautiful obituary you wrote for her, and remembering the great times through her life will be what gets you through now. Hope you and Lucy can find some peace and happiness soon.
     
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    • Appreciation Appreciation x 1
  15. Oh Little Oji

    Oh Little Oji Formerly Tad Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    Thank you for reaching out and sharing. Sorry for your loss. I feel this challenging time in our world will pass pretty soon, and I know your challenging time will get easier and better soon as well.
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
  16. Dozersmommy

    Dozersmommy New Member

    I lost my Dozer in November to Cancer. Losing him was harder on me and still is harder than any other death I've ever experienced. I came here, too, looking for a place to grieve my loss. I hope you find some peace here the way I did.
    Its really hard to lose these parts of our family, especially after they become a regular part of our everyday life - they depend on you and then we become dependent on that. I was so used to him needing me that it was hard for me to let him go- I didnt even know at that time how much of my day I had devoted to my bug.. it was a lot because his death left a hole in my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Maggie. You are so strong and selfless to take her pain away and hurt yourself so much in the process. You did that for her.. you are her angel for taking away her pain.
     
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  17. Maja Rocks

    Maja Rocks $ Forum Donor $

    I am now on my 6th doberman they are indeed majestic special creatures.
    Everyone was the epitome of the breed standard.
    Elegant in appearance, of proud carriage, reflecting great nobility and temperament. Energetic, watchful, determined, alert, fearless, loyal and obedient. How does one not love a creature that exhibits such traits and loves you unconditionally?

    Yes I cried like a baby and grieved for weeks when it was time to let them go every time.
    If you don't you have no heart or soul.
    The pain will lessen with time but I found the only way to fill the hole in my heart and life was to get a another Doberman. You never stop loving the ones you have lost. But for me the joy of a new puppy makes it easier
    to get past. One simply doesn't have time to dwell on loss when a new puppy takes 110% of your energy & time.

    We all here feel your pain and sorrow.
    Be well and know that with time this sorrow you fell will pass.
    MR
     
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  18. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you, so much! Yes, it's rough and you are so right, they are so close to us, every day, even more than a close human friend. I hadn't thought about that. I called a psychiatrist friend of mine and he said this was completely normal and he, in fact, grieved a close dog for a very long time. So, I'm just going to continue to cry it out when the feeling comes. Which is right now. Thank you!
     
    • Appreciation Appreciation x 2
    • Empathetic Empathetic x 1
  19. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    You are so kind, thank you so much! Yes, I plan to have another Dobie and I hope to rescue again. Part of me would like to buy a pup but in my heart, I just can't, My vet even thought Maggie was purebred but I was so lucky she lived so long and never had any issues. I have always rescued and I just feel like given how many dogs of all breeds need rescuing, it's all I can do. That's just me, to each their own, no judgments of course! I was wondering if getting a Dobie sooner rather than later given COVID and all going on right now if it would help the greater good more? I don't know. I hope it will help my sweet Lucy too. I hope I am there in a month or so. I am sorry your pup was only with you for 1.5 years but I'm so glad you at least had that time together! Take Good Care and thank you again.
     
  20. LexDobieLove

    LexDobieLove New Member

    Thank you so much! I just wrote what I felt. I wish I were a good writer, but when you speak from the heart, that has to help. It's funny, I was sharing with a friend, who happens to be a psychiatrist friend, about my grief and my worry about my continued tears and sorrow. Of course, when I said I thought I was depressed before I even told him of my dog passing, he said: "Who isn't!" LOL. This is a doctor who used to be the head of our local college here, it's a block away from me, It's called the University of Kentucky, you may have heard of our basketball team the UK Wildcats? Anyway, After that, he shared with me how he grieved for a very long time over a pet he lost and that we become very close to our pets. My Dobie who you all know I adored, wasn't the one who follows me everywhere I go, that's Lucy, she's a heeler and like Maggie, she is so smart, but she is extremely protective. I go to the restroom, she's there, I go to the kitchen to cook she is there. I go to the laundry room, she is there. You get it, if I get up out of this easy chair 100 times, she goes with me. Maggie on the other hand, was by my side when I was in my easy chair wanting to be petted 24-7, you know how they nudge your hand so you will pet them, right? So in my head, while I knew there was a bond, I forgot kinda how truly close we were, it was maybe a different relationship than that of my Heeler but she was always next to me in bed, etc. She just didn't follow me everywhere I went, but was still close to me on another level. So, the point is, my conversation with him helped me realize it's perfectly normal what I am going through after losing one of my best friends! Thank you for your kind words. You, like everyone here, has helped me so much!
     
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