How to stop constant nipping for attention

[BamMoMoMommy]

My husband has no interest in disciplining when he comes home after a long day at work and she senses that and pushes his buttons all evening. I’m constantly “rescuing” him by pulling her away, so we’re def not in sync as far as corrections go.

This is where I hate typed word cuz this is going to read more harsh then I intend it.....but this is where he is going to have to get invested with her and the correction. What she is learning here is
"Hey I bug dad and mom pays attention to me".

(I know..."GEE THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!! You can throw a coffee mug at me if you like)

He needs to take the time to correct her when she is in his space..without you getting into it...it's the only way she'll clue into the fact your husband may not be THE Alpha...but HE IS an Alpha in the pack.

I get the "he's tired when he gets in" ...we deal with that here......but a consistent routine for a few weeks with him marking his boundaries with her is going to pay off big time in the long run.

The other option.....is when you have to pull her away from him.....the correction should be a time out from everyone.
BUT-BUT-BUT----- I REALLY-REALLY don't recommend this since she will come to equate your husband with punishment.
And then you end up with another issue to wrangle.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Sounds like an ongoing issue with this little troublemaker. Definitely frustrating! I too was going to ask about mental stimulation because we have found that physically they can go on ALL DAY LONG. Sounds like you are doing well in the mental department, but it may be worth upping the challenges by teaching new things. See if it makes a difference.

I’m also going to say part of the issue is lack of leadership from the hb. I kind of come in at the end of the day when my hb has done the main work with Kaiser, and I don’t really want to ‘deal’ with him much more, so I get it, but your hb has to do something with her. I think this becomes more important in a small household where the ‘other person’ is an easy target for a strong headed Doberman. Being consistent with you will be a good first step. Have a talk with the hb and let him know that the longer the dog is practicing bad behavior, the harder it will be to eliminate it. I do a bit with Kaiser each day and it’s no longer a hassle and his obedience with me is pretty good. If I stop being involved with him, it is reflected in how well he listens to me. The thing with a Doberman is that they do give us feedback, we just have to be able to see it.

 

[jazzies mum]

I think you have all the good info you need here to succeed. Just wanted to say that I had similar issues in the early pup days with my girl and can relate to how frustrating it can be and downright depressing sometimes when we just can't seem to be making any progress. Patience is the key, absolutely! And corrections made with a cool head, good timing and total consistency. What follows is respect from your Dobe. Soon you will see steps in the right direction, then leaps, then bounds, until she will astound you with her keen intelligence and willingness to please. What I found was that the early challenge to find the training methods that worked for my girl built a bond that is a firm foundation, rock solid, for whatever we do and where ever we go.

 

[dsut]

This is where I hate typed word cuz this is going to read more harsh then I intend it.....but this is where he is going to have to get invested with her and the correction. What she is learning here is
"Hey I bug dad and mom pays attention to me".

(I know..."GEE THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!! You can throw a coffee mug at me if you like)

He needs to take the time to correct her when she is in his space..without you getting into it...it's the only way she'll clue into the fact your husband may not be THE Alpha...but HE IS an Alpha in the pack.

I get the "he's tired when he gets in" ...we deal with that here......but a consistent routine for a few weeks with him marking his boundaries with her is going to pay off big time in the long run.

The other option.....is when you have to pull her away from him.....the correction should be a time out from everyone.
BUT-BUT-BUT----- I REALLY-REALLY don't recommend this since she will come to equate your husband with punishment.
And then you end up with another issue to wrangle.

Thank you, I realised this was part of the issue but he was struggling to accept that this little Dobe is very different to our last and needs way more input. We put a new routine in place and he started off the day with a little training session and tug as a reward and she’s already much calmer.

 

[dsut]

Sounds like an ongoing issue with this little troublemaker. Definitely frustrating! I too was going to ask about mental stimulation because we have found that physically they can go on ALL DAY LONG. Sounds like you are doing well in the mental department, but it may be worth upping the challenges by teaching new things. See if it makes a difference.

I’m also going to say part of the issue is lack of leadership from the hb. I kind of come in at the end of the day when my hb has done the main work with Kaiser, and I don’t really want to ‘deal’ with him much more, so I get it, but your hb has to do something with her. I think this becomes more important in a small household where the ‘other person’ is an easy target for a strong headed Doberman. Being consistent with you will be a good first step. Have a talk with the hb and let him know that the longer the dog is practicing bad behavior, the harder it will be to eliminate it. I do a bit with Kaiser each day and it’s no longer a hassle and his obedience with me is pretty good. If I stop being involved with him, it is reflected in how well he listens to me. The thing with a Doberman is that they do give us feedback, we just have to be able to see it.

Thank you, everything above makes sense! Hb has agreed to get more involved starting this morning and she already seems calmer. Long may it last
I’ve bought a book on dog tricks so hopefully that’ll keep her stimulated.
Another thing that I think may be affecting her is that she’s been on a chewable flea and tick med since 6 weeks old(given by breeder) and unfortunately it’s taken me this long to figure out that some of her symptoms eg cough, lack of appetite, irritability etc may be due to that.

 

[BamMoMoMommy]

We put a new routine in place and he started off the day with a little training session and tug as a reward and she’s already much calmer

WONDERFUL! Here's too a lot of calmer time!!

I was thinking about you this evening while I was working with Bam and his "you ain't duh boss here, lady..back off" tude.

(In my head he sounds like Yosemite Sam!!)

I was thinking....the hardest part is staying consistent, and not laughing like a loon when he acts silly rather than follow the command......or let myself buy into the "letting it slide one time ain't gonna matter in the bigger scheme of things"

WHEW....maybe we can be "holding each other consistency accountable buddies"...LOL.

I realised this was part of the issue but he was struggling to accept that this little Dobe is very different to our last and needs way more input

I get this....way down into my core....here it's ME that keeps forgetting Bam ain't MoMo...or any of our other sweethearts in the past. My husband calls me out on this..reminding Bam is his "own righteous dude"

The only other creature that is as hard headed/bull headed as I am..besides Bam...is my youngest daughter...and I remind myself..she is 33,still alive and I am still san---well almost-- sane.

 

[dsut]

L

I think you have all the good info you need here to succeed. Just wanted to say that I had similar issues in the early pup days with my girl and can relate to how frustrating it can be and downright depressing sometimes when we just can't seem to be making any progress. Patience is the key, absolutely! And corrections made with a cool head, good timing and total consistency. What follows is respect from your Dobe. Soon you will see steps in the right direction, then leaps, then bounds, until she will astound you with her keen intelligence and willingness to please. What I found was that the early challenge to find the training methods that worked for my girl built a bond that is a firm foundation, rock solid, for whatever we do and where ever we go.

. I agree!! The trick is to find the right training methods. Put her on a long catch leash around the house and within 5 minutes she’s chewed through it. She def doesn’t like to be controlled but hopefully she’ll mellow in time like your girl. At what age would you say that happened?

 

[jazzies mum]

L
. I agree!! The trick is to find the right training methods. Put her on a long catch leash around the house and within 5 minutes she’s chewed through it. She def doesn’t like to be controlled but hopefully she’ll mellow in time like your girl. At what age would you say that happened?

Well, at about 8 months I knew that I was going to win and things were getting easier, but this is a very individual thing with each dog! The breakthrough for me was that we went for a long road trip with camping out in a tent and visited friends while I helped them to move house..........in a flood! They had a dog and lived in a very urban area so Jazzies experience of life was expanded hugely, and she stepped right up to the mark and behaved better than I could ever have hoped! Most of that Tassie Devil Dervish stuff was caused by not enough mental input and this just underlined the fact. So when she regressed to bratty behaviour I just gave her an intense new learning experience of some kind, any kind, just new and interesting.

I should just add that it would have been somewhere between 18 months and 2 years before I could say that she moved on from occasionally trying it on. Now she plays at cheekiness but it's not a challenge just funny!

 

[dsut]

I think you have all the good info you need here to succeed. Just wanted to say that I had similar issues in the early pup days with my girl and can relate to how frustrating it can be and downright depressing sometimes when we just can't seem to be making any progress. Patience is the key, absolutely! And corrections made with a cool head, good timing and total consistency. What follows is respect from your Dobe. Soon you will see steps in the right direction, then leaps, then bounds, until she will astound you with her keen intelligence and willingness to please. What I found was that the early challenge to find the training methods that worked for my girl built a bond that is a firm foundation, rock solid, for whatever we do and where ever we go.

Sorry to keep bugging you but was really hopeful after a good few weeks of bonding and routine and hubby stepping up to the plate. She was so much calmer and hardly nipped any more. Until yesterday. Temper tantrums when someone leaves and she can’t go with or she wants what’s on our plate or a game of tug is stopped before she wants it to etc etc. She barks and jumps and bites, drawing blood and eyes look hard. Not sure if this is normal. It seems like we take one step forward, 10 steps back. Help!!

 

[BamMoMoMommy]

Until yesterday. Temper tantrums when someone leaves and she can’t go with or she wants what’s on our plate or a game of tug is stopped before she wants it to etc etc

That sounds like "doberteens"....I have very little experience with that and it's been 25 years since I dealt with a pup this young...so others will be here to help you with that.

What I wanted to add.....how they feel physiologically...can effect how they react/mind, etc....yeah stating the obvious.

I'm putting it here since we are dealing with health issues with our four year old....and sometimes when I am at my wits end him him...knowing he HAS IT IN HIM to work with us and do well....and getting aggravated feeling like it isn't gonna get better....I remind myself.....he's not at 100% health wise right now....and it helps me feel less like a bad "parent" and power thru when I just wanna throw up my hands and quit.

And more "hang in there" vibes headed your way.

 

[dsut]

That sounds like "doberteens"....I have very little experience with that and it's been 25 years since I dealt with a pup this young...so others will be here to help you with that.

What I wanted to add.....how they feel physiologically...can effect how they react/mind, etc....yeah stating the obvious.

I'm putting it here since we are dealing with health issues with our four year old....and sometimes when I am at my wits end him him...knowing he HAS IT IN HIM to work with us and do well....and getting aggravated feeling like it isn't gonna get better....I remind myself.....he's not at 100% health wise right now....and it helps me feel less like a bad "parent" and power thru when I just wanna throw up my hands and quit.

And more "hang in there" vibes headed your way.

Thanks so much for this. I worry that it’s aggression but it has been very hot for the past few days and as per my other post she reacted badly to
Bravecto so possibly behaving badly as a result.

 

[Viemarangelrock]

Sometimes you’ve just got to take the rough with the smooth. You’ll get setbacks just don’t dwindle on them too much. Keep consistent and be a great leader

 

[BamMoMoMommy]

Thanks so much for this.

Most welcome.

Any chance you could find a trainer to work with you and your pup? We are in the process of doing that right now and the reason I am doing it is I need someone who isn't emotionally invested in my wild child to appraise his attitude...and mine tooBam's making me feel dumber than a box of rocks.

 

[jazzies mum]

I do agree that you will have periods when the "teenager" rears it's ugly head! I hesitate to mention this as it all comes down to really good timing, but as Jazz was a very mouthy youngster this was a thing that she kept trying on at times. Purely to get her own way! If she didn't want to come back from an evening potty break for instance she would flip around on her lead like a crazy critter and often take a swipe at me with her mouth. No actual contact mostly but a look of defiance in her eyes. I found that if I left my left hand hanging, (the one nearest her), she would take a stab at it and I would quickly grab her lower jaw, (thumb on tongue and fingers underneath is best but whatever you get hold of will do) and hang on firmly. Then I increased the pressure and moved into her until she sat and met my eyes with compliance. Somehow you can feel when they concede. It shouldn't be frightening or more than very uncomfortable for them. Then I would release her and praise her for being a good dog! The timing of the grab and even more importantly the timing of the release must be spot on for best results. Yes, I know this sounds harsh, but she was fully aware of what she was doing and needed to be shown that it wouldn't be tolerated. It worked for us and with this method she soon decided not to try this any more.
My attitude was cool and mostly non verbal. She would get a warning if she was starting to act up, but the grab and insisting on compliance was all just body language. Praising afterwards can be as verbal as you like but try not to make it too exciting or your calm dog might fire up again.
I also agree that if you have a good trainer available to you then go with that. My methods are "home grown" because there are no trainers in my area.

 

[dsut]

We

Most welcome.

Any chance you could find a trainer to work with you and your pup? We are in the process of doing that right now and the reason I am doing it is I need someone who isn't emotionally invested in my wild child to appraise his attitude...and mine tooBam's making me feel dumber than a box of rocks.

. Haha that’s how she makes me feel too We’ve called in several behaviorists and taken her to a few trainers. She’s high drive and feisty and has given them a run for their money but on the positive side she shows no aggression to animals or humans. She listens when handled very firmly (in my opinion harshly at times ie chokechain which I don’t agree with) We have actually been getting through to her by talking, which works other than during the running around/nipping episodes. She’s definitely improving with age so fingers crossed and good luck with cheeky Bam!!!

 

[dsut]

I do agree that you will have periods when the "teenager" rears it's ugly head! I hesitate to mention this as it all comes down to really good timing, but as Jazz was a very mouthy youngster this was a thing that she kept trying on at times. Purely to get her own way! If she didn't want to come back from an evening potty break for instance she would flip around on her lead like a crazy critter and often take a swipe at me with her mouth. No actual contact mostly but a look of defiance in her eyes. I found that if I left my left hand hanging, (the one nearest her), she would take a stab at it and I would quickly grab her lower jaw, (thumb on tongue and fingers underneath is best but whatever you get hold of will do) and hang on firmly. Then I increased the pressure and moved into her until she sat and met my eyes with compliance. Somehow you can feel when they concede. It shouldn't be frightening or more than very uncomfortable for them. Then I would release her and praise her for being a good dog! The timing of the grab and even more importantly the timing of the release must be spot on for best results. Yes, I know this sounds harsh, but she was fully aware of what she was doing and needed to be shown that it wouldn't be tolerated. It worked for us and with this method she soon decided not to try this any more.
My attitude was cool and mostly non verbal. She would get a warning if she was starting to act up, but the grab and insisting on compliance was all just body language. Praising afterwards can be as verbal as you like but try not to make it too exciting or your calm dog might fire up again.
I also agree that if you have a good trainer available to you then go with that. My methods are "home grown" because there are no trainers in my area.

This sounds familiar! I think we never really got rid of the mouthiness she had as a puppy. We got her at 6 weeks and she was separated from her mother at 3 weeks as she was one of 13 and her young mother wasn’t coping. So she didn’t learn bite inhibition and as much as we tried we struggled to get her to stop. I agree with making her submit once I am able to catch her, which is difficult when you don’t want to chase and just have to act nonchalant while she’s flying at you teeth first. Once I get hold of her I have tried the thumb in mouth thing and she definitely gets that her behavior was unacceptable but it’s Actually not even necessary as she’s very obedient when she’s on leash.

 

[BamMoMoMommy]

Haha that’s how she makes me feel too We’ve called in several behaviorists and taken her to a few trainers. She’s high drive and feisty and has given them a run for their money but on the positive side she shows no aggression to animals or humans. She listens when handled very firmly (in my opinion harshly at times ie chokechain which I don’t agree with) We have actually been getting through to her by talking, which works other than during the running around/nipping episodes. She’s definitely improving with age so fingers crossed and good luck with cheeky Bam!!!

I know you said your previous Dobe wasn't this kind of challenge...and none of ours have been to this point...so maybe we both got spoiled?????LOL

Improvement...of any kind counts as a WIN..in my book..LOL...right now we are celebrating the smallest of victories!!!

The handling firmly...WHEW...talk about a catch 22.
Where's the line between firm and being abusive? I know the answer is obvious....but when you are in the throes of trying to out Alpha a strong willed Alpha...there's a point in MY brain where I start second guessing myself...and...UGH!!!

The firm stuff.....crazy making stuff!!
If you think your are dealing with aggression issues...it does put you in a spot of
"Am I making this worse with the way I am correcting? Is being firm just creating ( or more) aggression???"

It will have you going in circles trying to find the proper level and method to deal with them. I am having to be firmer with Bam then I have ever had to be...and firm was the got to word with him from the get-go.

There's always part of me wondering if I am creating more issues in him...again...feeling for you here....soooo much. I'm not a fan of choke chains......and until I got here wasn't a fan of pinch collars...but have discovered..I should have started Bam with a pinch collar way back when I noticed the rebel streak in him ( that was about two days after we got him home....UGH!)

*Fingers crossed* (and toes!! for extra luck!!) that you are coming to the end of the"Doberteen".

Just keep leading with your funny bone...even if it is a smile thru gritted teeth!!!!

Thanks for the good luck wishes with Bam. Today I need them...lawdy.... the boy is just full of it. We have had five days straight that weather/mud has prevented us from getting out for really good workouts....and he is a ball of lighting fast energy. We have discussed with the vet medicine options to help him chill a little better...not there yet...but I am considering calling the vet and asking if he will write ME a script to help me stay chill!!!!

 

[dsut]

I know you said your previous Dobe wasn't this kind of challenge...and none of ours have been to this point...so maybe we both got spoiled?????LOL

Improvement...of any kind counts as a WIN..in my book..LOL...right now we are celebrating the smallest of victories!!!

The handling firmly...WHEW...talk about a catch 22.
Where's the line between firm and being abusive? I know the answer is obvious....but when you are in the throes of trying to out Alpha a strong willed Alpha...there's a point in MY brain where I start second guessing myself...and...UGH!!!

The firm stuff.....crazy making stuff!!
If you think your are dealing with aggression issues...it does put you in a spot of
"Am I making this worse with the way I am correcting? Is being firm just creating ( or more) aggression???"

It will have you going in circles trying to find the proper level and method to deal with them. I am having to be firmer with Bam then I have ever had to be...and firm was the got to word with him from the get-go.

There's always part of me wondering if I am creating more issues in him...again...feeling for you here....soooo much. I'm not a fan of choke chains......and until I got here wasn't a fan of pinch collars...but have discovered..I should have started Bam with a pinch collar way back when I noticed the rebel streak in him ( that was about two days after we got him home....UGH!)

*Fingers crossed* (and toes!! for extra luck!!) that you are coming to the end of the"Doberteen".

Just keep leading with your funny bone...even if it is a smile thru gritted teeth!!!!

Thanks for the good luck wishes with Bam. Today I need them...lawdy.... the boy is just full of it. We have had five days straight that weather/mud has prevented us from getting out for really good workouts....and he is a ball of lighting fast energy. We have discussed with the vet medicine options to help him chill a little better...not there yet...but I am considering calling the vet and asking if he will write ME a script to help me stay chill!!!!

I’ve actually found that overly firm handling breaks/weakens the bond we have. My husband and trainer disagree with this but I find I get her attention by talking calmly and asking questions when she plays up eg do you want to play? I had a real power struggle on my hands when training with a choke chain and find she responds far better to positive reinforcement and upbeat fun training. Except during those crazy doberteen moments
Because she had a bad reaction to Bravecto, I’ve been giving her milk thistle For liver support and I’m pretty sure it’s calmed her down even though that’s not one of the side effects mentioned. Perhaps it just makes her feel better. The other thing I’m going to try, again to detox after Bravecto, is CBD oil and that may have a calming effect on your boy so may be worth a try.
I feel for you with the bad weather.. lack of exercise is a recipe for disaster!