And just like that, he's gone

[MyBuddy]

At first I thought I must be crazy, but as I am getting into my morning, I am realizing how many of us know what the other dogs on here are eating, we know where they go adventuring. We cheerlead each other through challenges and achievements. Our excitement extends to those who are just bringing a puppy home, or are raising a new litter. I think we all feel a little pride when someone wins a ribbon or tries a new competition. Kaiser wasn't my dog, but he certainly was one of our dogs, and I am going to miss seeing him here in all of the places he would go conquer.

This^^^^^^^

 

[Ddski5]

Tonight was a tough one. Packing up some of his treats to give away, and maybe some of his toys. I’m not sure I can part with his toys. We haven’t been able to talk about this.

I set up these lights a few weeks ago. My hb was leaving them on overnight. I asked him if he was forgetting to turn off the lights. He said no. He was leaving the Christmas lights on for Kaiser because Kaiser slept up here on the sofa.

After, he didn’t put the lights on.

We only turned these lights on again when Kaiser’s ashes came back on Monday. It was just one week. But I feel like we have been suffering for so much longer.

Gosh…yeah…frick it hurts.
I was a blank zombie for about 3months. People say you have to get up and do something, get your mind off him. Go out, think of something else. Problem is that you don’t want to think of anything else. You just can’t. Doesn’t seem like it but eventually the hurt and sorrow will not be so bad. Then gradually, other things occupy your thoughts but for now…you’re going through it. Somewhere somehow you have to have a release and let it all out.

Don’t get into a big deal about his stuff..if you want to keep his stuff/toys then keep it. There’s no harm in that. It makes you feels good to have a piece of him there, you’re not throwing his stuff out. I would get a box and put a couple of things up a little at a time. One day you will look at it and smile and think I remember when.

Really hope you find some peace today.

 

[Kaiser2016]

I saw the title of this thread and when I saw it was written by you, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started reading it, hoping that it wasn't what it seemed, but quickly it was clear it was what it seemed, and here I am crying about a dog I've never met

I always had the same feeling when the Memorials would come up. I would open it in complete denial that I was about to read about the passing of one of our dogs. The shared traits of the breed and our shared understanding of them made it easy to love each other's dogs.

I got up, and got my dogs their breakfast and they knew something

They always know. I loved how Kaiser could read our minds. He was always one step ahead, knowing what we were about to do. How much did he study us to know these things, it's just amazing how they would know.

I am realizing how many of us know what the other dogs on here are eating, we know where they go adventuring.

That's so true! They are like extensions of our own family, our friends who just happen to be far away.

Kaiser wasn't my dog, but he certainly was one of our dogs,

I loved this! Thank you for telling me.

Kaiser did touch me. Thanks for all the sharing you did to let that happen.

I loved sharing Kaiser on here. No other group could possibly be so enthusiastic or interested in seeing millions of pictures of my dog doing anything. Of course I took tons of pictures of the adventures, but I also took so many pictures of him just laying around. He was beautiful to look at ALL the time. The way he would sleep with a smile on his face, that made me feel content that we had made him happy that day. The way he loved to sniff on walks and it would result in all those frothy drool strings, I knew that was the proof that he really enjoyed that walk. The way he would make little barking sounds while dreaming, it made me see the pure innocence of his life.

 

[JanS]

if you want to keep his stuff/toys then keep it. There’s no harm in that. It makes you feels good to have a piece of him there, you’re not throwing his stuff out.

I agree and have done that with all of our beloved dogs. I can't donate them or throw them away but I've made a special box for all of them and put their favorite things in there to look back at with the happy memories.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Problem is that you don’t want to think of anything else. You just can’t.

Ya he's like a thought that stays in the back of your mind at all times, and then the thought gets thrusted to the forefront by the grief. I see dogs walking in the neighborhood where we used to walk and even that can trigger the feelings.

I would get a box and put a couple of things up a little at a time.

That sounds better. To slowly remove them from my sight, but knowing that I still have them. I can sort through them later.

Really hope you find some peace today.

Thanks, it's been up and down today. I was fine until my mom called and told me I should get a small dog that will be easier to take care of, like no, it's not about what's "easy" to take care of, it's about what I lost, the specialness of who Kaiser was, the connection that I had to him, he can't be replaced

I've made a special box for all of them and put their favorite things in there to look back at with the happy memories.

Another good idea. The things that I want to keep forever can go into that special box

 

[Kaiser2016]

 

[Katyusharocket]

and I am fresh crying again. a happier cry. those are beautiful words for him.

 

[Kaiser2016]

and I am fresh crying again. a happier cry. those are beautiful words for him.

Me too. Im So sorry!

 

[Two Dobes]

Not to hijack the thread, but here is one of those toys that I have put away....Clarke loved the Christmas boot, and played so beautifully with a friends puppy in our home I could not look at the boot for a long time, brought me to full blown tears...but this video makes me smile.

 

[Kaiser2016]

What an adorable video. They played so gentle.

 

[Kswoodssue]

I only just saw this, and I am so so sorry!

 

[GennyB]

Oh no! I came here to post about Rumor. I NEVER expected to see this! I'm soooo sorry.

 

[Kaiser2016]

As I am trying to come terms with this loss and to accept it so I can move on, I also keep thinking about how I was in denial hearing the vet. I kept mentioning DCM and then she showed me the x-ray. Then I asked about chemo or experimental drugs, I was desperate. Part of the horrible shock of all this is that I never thought about cancer, I didn't know what questions to ask. I always thought it would be his heart. Then there is the awful process of putting a dog to sleep and signing paperwork beforehand. I never thought about those things either. I remember how the vet presented the syringes to me. The big one was the one that would stop his heart. The same heart that I would try to protect through his diet, the heart that my hb would keep strong with daily exercise, the heart that a cardiologist examined, the heart that a holter test measured, that same heart that I had seen pumping on an ultrasound screen, the heart that was so strong you could feel it beating. The heart that loved us, I would now be authorizing someone to make it stop. I put my hand on his heart as the final syringe was emptied, and felt his heartbeat fade away. As a final check, the vet checked for a heartbeat. Imagine, all that focus and energy poured into his heart, but his heart was strong till the end. Blindsided doesn't begin to describe this awful irony. Then I keep thinking, maybe it would have been better if he had dcm. At least it would not have been a surprise and might have bought us more time. I know it wouldn't change the outcome, but the extra time would have been priceless.

 

[jazzies mum]

The reality of euthanasia in a vets office seems so brutal. The vets are as sympathetic as they can be but nothing can ease that experience. It leaves a scar that fades but never disappears.

 

[lady Dobie]

My deepest condolences ,,, i read and tears filled my eyes,,,such a beautiful sad tribute to such a beautiful boy...

 

[Kaiser2016]

Thank you all for staying with us on this journey of loss and sadness. It has helped immensely.

My hb finally opened up. His loss is even worse since he was home with Kaiser all the time and they ran errands together.

 

[MichiH]

Thank you all for staying with us on this journey of loss and sadness. It has helped immensely.

My hb finally opened up. His loss is even worse since he was home with Kaiser all the time and they ran errands together.

You all are in my thoughts and prayers

 

[Ddski5]

Thank you all for staying with us on this journey of loss and sadness. It has helped immensely.

My hb finally opened up. His loss is even worse since he was home with Kaiser all the time and they ran errands together.

It may seem like it hurts worse but it doesn’t dissipate until it finally does come out.

Kaiser was the son and buddy that was always willingly there- knew that he was the protector and protectee.

I know you are not thinking of this but the grief and anguish is greatly shortened and reduced when you bring another in the household.

 

[Katyusharocket]

Thank you all for staying with us on this journey of loss and sadness. It has helped immensely.

My hb finally opened up. His loss is even worse since he was home with Kaiser all the time and they ran errands together.

All your posts are touching. They are hard to read, I will admit. Yet, I value them and am glad you write these things out. We all are braced to hear "heart issues" with our beloved dobies. None of us would expect anything else. Your post about being blindsided with cancer will likely help one or more of us here when or if something like this happens to us.

So I appreciate it.

I am glad your hb is opening up. Us guys can be difficult like that. Just speaking for myself, sometimes it can be hard to even admit to myself that something painful occurred, let alone examine or talk about it.

 

[Kaiser2016]

It may seem like it hurts worse but it doesn’t dissipate until it finally does come out.

That's what I tell him and myself, to just let it out. Today I had breakfast with my friends and it helped to talk about Kaiser with them too. I didn't get emotional and that was progress.

I am glad your hb is opening up. Us guys can be difficult like that.

He was definitely preferring to keep it bottled up, but I think last night was a turning point for him. The memories of Kaiser are everywhere, no matter how much has been moved, boxed, hidden, given away.

I value them and am glad you write these things out.

Thank you for this. I always say first time Dobering is such hard work, and it really was, Kaiser was a challenge and the reward was an amazing Doberman. But the ending, such an awful ending.

reality of euthanasia in a vets office seems so brutal

We are responsible for them from beginning to end, that place made the burden of responsibility so clear.

I NEVER expected to see this! I'm soooo sorry.

Thank you for sharing your condolences in the middle of your own tragic loss of Rumor