And just like that, he's gone

[LifeofRubie]

There was an account on IG I used to follow and she would post pictures or videos of the dirt runway along the fence from her dog running up and down and lament she could never grow grass there.

After he passed, she looked at that dirt runway and felt ridiculous for ever being upset about it.

For some reason, that has really stuck with me. I make every effort to not get frustrated with the dogs if it's truly, in the grand scheme of things, not important because that means they're still here.

@Kaiser2016 it'll be 9 years in January since my Tobie passed and that jerk can still randomly bring me to tears. I just had a friend who lost her heart dog after they discovered an aggressive cancer and not much they could do and she always apologizes about being sad about missing him. I'm like, Girl, don't. Let.it.out.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Today, something that made me cry and then a memory that made me smile. We haven't gotten grocery so there was almost nothing to eat. I saw the bread bag and thought I'll finish that. I pulled out the two pieces and started sobbing. His last day, he was panting, so I was afraid he would bloat if he had too much food, so I tore off that piece of bread (it's a Costco bread, so it's bigger than it looks), dipped it in milk (he loved milk) and gave it to him. Then I put the slices into the toaster and remembered around the age of 1, we were still working on his counter surfing. He had stolen sandwiches from my hb, from that same spot at the counter, and both times it was just before a grocery run so there was nothing else to eat. I remembered how I had to keep a straight face while my hb complained but I really wanted to laugh because I thought his sneaky behavior was kinda cute. I think back then was when we made the rule to always make a sandwich just for Kaiser. He never did steal sandwiches after that - he trained us well!

 

[LucyXIII]

There are few losses as isolating as pet loss. We raise them, teach them, and they rely on us for all their needs. They are so much a part of our daily routine and our home life that their absence is immense. Its not home without them.
Though I can smile when I think of them, I'm not over any of them.

 

[DD4MSpock]

I'm so sorry to hear that too.


One of the absolute worst things anyone can say to me is "get over it, it was just a dog". They are part of the family and it hurts at least as much as losing a family member since we are their everything and we are all they have.

Precisely. We are seeing this right now as the friends of Sherpa, and his owner, Jamie. We hope that, eventually, he does welcome a new furry friend in his life, because he's a fantastic dog father and we know he'll provide the best possible home for him, as he did for Sherpa. But Jamie has to be ready for it. And I think he's not quite there, just yet. He's still editing/publishing footage from the snippets of video he has remaining about Sherpa. When he's done with those, I think he may be a step closer to being "ready." But, not yet. It hasn't even been 1/2 a year, yet.

The greatest risk being, we hope he doesn't sell the house/property he's worked so hard to buy and build up (quite a step up from his days in his caravan/trailer) as it may remind him too much of Sherpa. I'm thinking that if he did have another dog to look after, he can make new memories at his place and it will comfort him more about being there.

That said, for me, I would have had a successor dog in place already before saying goodbye to my old friend. I'd want that "battle buddy" with me to help me through the loss. But we all have our own ways of handling it.

 

[jazzies mum]

Today, something that made me cry and then a memory that made me smile. We haven't gotten grocery so there was almost nothing to eat. I saw the bread bag and thought I'll finish that. I pulled out the two pieces and started sobbing. His last day, he was panting, so I was afraid he would bloat if he had too much food, so I tore off that piece of bread (it's a Costco bread, so it's bigger than it looks), dipped it in milk (he loved milk) and gave it to him. Then I put the slices into the toaster and remembered around the age of 1, we were still working on his counter surfing. He had stolen sandwiches from my hb, from that same spot at the counter, and both times it was just before a grocery run so there was nothing else to eat. I remembered how I had to keep a straight face while my hb complained but I really wanted to laugh because I thought his sneaky behavior was kinda cute. I think back then was when we made the rule to always make a sandwich just for Kaiser. He never did steal sandwiches after that - he trained us well!

It's been 7 years since my good dog Freckles passed and I still feel a pang when I find an old perished ball of hers somewhere. She did love a ball! But the pain is a "good" pain if that makes sense. Brings a wistful smile to my face and an extra loving for Jazz.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Today we made Kaiser's favorite scrambled eggs for breakfast. The difference this weekend is that he doesn't get his share of the meal for waiting patiently in his cot by the table. I looked out the window trying not to see his empty yard. I saw a bird. It landed on the deck railing and looked down to the yard. It walked along a bit more and looked down again. I knew what it was doing. It walked the whole length and looked down again. Then it flew off. It came back seconds later with another bird. Then another bird arrived. All three walked each railing. The birds were on their own version of poop patrol. They flew down to the yard and I got up to watch them. They walked along parts of the snow that had been crushed by Kaiser's big paws. They couldn't find anything. Even the birds have noticed Kaiser's absence. And they too will need to move on.

 

[Ravenbird]

Today we made Kaiser's favorite scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Your reminiscing and stories are so touching and emotional. I have a hard time choosing between the appreciation and the empathic emoji. Just saying I feel both. This one is so poignant to me because I live very close to nature and in an isolated place that I can observe so many natural ways that the world works. You just pointed out one of them. Life is a circle, which also defines as never-ending. I believe in Einstein's quote that "energy never ends, it just changes form." Much love and good energy to you as you observe Kaisers own energy changing form daily in the world in front of you.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Einstein's quote that "energy never ends, it just changes form."

Exactly this. Kaiser had his own little ecosystem.

Your reminiscing and stories are so touching and emotional.

Thank you for saying this. It helps me immensely to share the little things. The big loss was the biggest heartbreak, but there are so many smaller heartbreaks happening every day.

I have a hard time choosing between the appreciation and the empathic emoji.

It all feels like love to me

 

[MyBuddy]

The big loss was the biggest heartbreak, but there are so many smaller heartbreaks happening every day.

Ugh, how right you are! That hit home. It's so true.

I couldn't even say or type Buddy's name for a long, long time. It just pained me to even say his name. Actually I'm just now saying it or bringing him up in conversation. It's been 4 years!

 

[Ddski5]

Today we made Kaiser's favorite scrambled eggs for breakfast. The difference this weekend is that he doesn't get his share of the meal for waiting patiently in his cot by the table. I looked out the window trying not to see his empty yard. I saw a bird. It landed on the deck railing and looked down to the yard. It walked along a bit more and looked down again. I knew what it was doing. It walked the whole length and looked down again. Then it flew off. It came back seconds later with another bird. Then another bird arrived. All three walked each railing. The birds were on their own version of poop patrol. They flew down to the yard and I got up to watch them. They walked along parts of the snow that had been crushed by Kaiser's big paws. They couldn't find anything. Even the birds have noticed Kaiser's absence. And they too will need to move on.

Thanks for sharing.
Took Freyja to Tractor Supply yesterday. I caught myself looking to my right side, I smiled and said, “Let’s go buddy”. Freyja on left and Rag on the right- in heel.

I remind myself often that it hurts so much because he meant so much.

 

[Kaiser2016]

I brought Kaiser home. A 90 lb dog reduced to this. I placed him on his couch where he used to soak up the sun. He'd start from one side and move to the other side, just following the sun's rays.

 

[Ddski5]

Ohhhh boy…and here we go.
That’s just so hard.

 

[Two Dobes]

Now I am weeping with you all over again....

 

[Kaiser2016]

So many pictures of him like this...and always rearranging the pillows like a person.

 

[JanS]

I brought Kaiser home.

I'm sure everyone is different but I can't start getting any closure at all until the ashes come home to us.

I don't know if you've decided on an urn but Perfect Memorials has some really nice ones. We chose the wood that you can put a photo in and it has a customized plaque.

Dog Urns - Memorialize Dog Companions - Perfect Memoria

<div class="magezon-builder magezon-builder-preload"><div class="qfjmh4y mgz-element mgz-element-row full_width_row"><div class="mgz-element-inner qfjmh4y-s"><div class="inner-content mgz-container"><div class="iixjgu9 mgz-element mgz-element-column mgz-col-xs-12"><div class="mgz-element-inner...

perfectmemorials.com

 

[MichiH]

I'm finding this to be the case too. Other pet owners can understand, but the level of loss is so different with a Doberman because of the intensity of the relationship and how he followed us everywhere. Or maybe people don't talk about it so openly because we're expected to move on from this type of a loss. Or maybe it's just an uncomfortable topic.

We watched TV in the basement for the first time last night. With his beds gone, there was so much space. All the beds to safe guard his bones. The extra padded mat at the bottom of the stairs because Kaiser loved to jump down and skip the last few steps and I worried he needed the cushioning for his knees. I really expected him to become an elderly dog who would have some stiff bones toward the end. But that was never going to be the case. He never showed up part way to suckle his blanket or ask for some pets. He didn't insist on an unnecessary potty break just so he could bark in the yard to hear if other dogs were out so he could bark back at them. He loved to bark back until all the other dogs would shut up hah. It always made me smile, then I'd call him off the yard and he'd come running. Towards the end of the evening he would drag his comfort bed in front of the TV to snooze near us for a bit, and then he'd stand in front of the TV to tell us hey we should go to sleep now. He was such a little boss in that way.

This morning my husband finished his breakfast plate and I saw pieces of cheese slices leftover. I knew he had sliced extra for Kaiser because we had a rule about sandwiches: if you're having one, you need to make one for Kaiser too. When I asked, he said he wasn't thinking and just cut the extra slices as a matter of habit.

People will say pets aren't like children. But it's not natural to experience the loss of a child, and that's why that loss is so tragic when it happens, because it is NOT supposed to happen that way. Whereas with a pet, you ARE signing up to experience the end. And yet, so many people sign up for this. It all seems to make no sense.

I hope that you and your husband are doing well, I think about you all and Kaiser each day.

I lost my Dobermans as a child and it still breaks my heart till this day. I never knew what happened to them when my father passed away. I say this because of what you said “ the level of loss with a Doberman is so different” it truly is they’re one of a kind and we are so blessed to have them in our lives for however long it may be. They make such a huge impact and only us Doberman owners really know what that means.

Kaiser is still there with you all and he always will be great memories you all had and we are all here for you to support you

 

[Kaiser2016]

it'll be 9 years in January since my Tobie passed and that jerk can still randomly bring me to tears.

The fact that you are still crying for him says so much about the strength of that relationship. Thank you for telling me that. I had been fearing I would never recover from this gut punch, I just want the pain to be less as time goes on.

Its not home without them.

No, I was just saying to my hb that this house feels like it was Kaiser's house and we're just empty shells living inside it now. Like as if we don't belong here anymore. Whenever we left home, it WAS his house. He was in charge of keeping it safe and now he's not here.

I think about you all and Kaiser each day.

Thank you for this. I appreciate that his spirit is being kept alive in the thoughts of others

 

[JanS]

I just want the pain to be less as time goes on.

And it will, as impossible as it feels. All of our dogs are still here with us and in our hearts but we have had to come to accept that they're in a better place now. Phoebe was still the biggest gut punch when she fought so hard at such a young age and we did absolutely everything we could for her but she did not have the quality of life she deserved when we had to let her go.

I know you're not ready yet but bringing another pup in and letting Kaiser's spirit guide him/her would definitely help fill the void in your hearts and the emptiness in your home. Kaiser will always be there but you are left broken hearted right now and this would help you.

 

[Katyusharocket]

I am notoriously bad about looking at the new posts/new threads list. So I was laying in bed this morning with my 3 furry heaters and the day off, all the motivation in the world to stay in bed and all the motivation in the world to not get out of it. I had some time and decided to check those new things here, and I saw the title of this thread and when I saw it was written by you, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I started reading it, hoping that it wasn't what it seemed, but quickly it was clear it was what it seemed, and here I am crying about a dog I've never met who didn't even live in the same country as I live in. I really feel for you, that seemed like such a fast decline and not a lot of time to get your emotions into a state of preparation for a loss. As I read through all 3 pages of this at once, my eyes almost became dry until the scrambled eggs and empty cot, and I lost it again. I got up, and got my dogs their breakfast and they knew something. There wasn't the spinning in circles energy that there usually is when I am scooping out their greek yogurt on top of their kibble.

At first I thought I must be crazy, but as I am getting into my morning, I am realizing how many of us know what the other dogs on here are eating, we know where they go adventuring. We cheerlead each other through challenges and achievements. Our excitement extends to those who are just bringing a puppy home, or are raising a new litter. I think we all feel a little pride when someone wins a ribbon or tries a new competition. Kaiser wasn't my dog, but he certainly was one of our dogs, and I am going to miss seeing him here in all of the places he would go conquer.

I am sorry I am late to the game but I did want to say that I am so sorry and I am feeling this with you, and that Kaiser did touch me. Thanks for all the sharing you did to let that happen.

A part of them will always be alive in us, our hearts, our memories, but damn it still hurts when they aren't there to remind us with a bark, or the unique things that they all seem to do.

 

[Kaiser2016]

Tonight was a tough one. Packing up some of his treats to give away, and maybe some of his toys. I’m not sure I can part with his toys. We haven’t been able to talk about this.

I set up these lights a few weeks ago. My hb was leaving them on overnight. I asked him if he was forgetting to turn off the lights. He said no. He was leaving the Christmas lights on for Kaiser because Kaiser slept up here on the sofa.

After, he didn’t put the lights on.

We only turned these lights on again when Kaiser’s ashes came back on Monday. It was just one week. But I feel like we have been suffering for so much longer.