Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
Thank you. Foreign is exactly right. The house doesn't feel the same. His energy and enthusiasm filled the air.
It's the worst thing to see the Memorials section
-
Disclaimer: Hello Guest, Doberman Chat Forums presents the opinions and material on these pages as a service to its membership and to the general public but does not endorse those materials, nor does it guarantee the accuracy of any opinions or information contained therein. The opinions expressed in the materials are strictly the opinion of the writer and do not represent the opinion of, nor are they endorsed by, Doberman Chat Forums. Health and medical articles are intended as an aid to those seeking health information and are not intended to replace the informed opinion of a qualified Veterinarian.”
And just like that, he's gone
- Thread starter Kaiser2016
- Start date
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
Thank you. The devotion is undeniable.
Wild child and whirlwinds united! They are such a special treasure, especially because of the paces they put us through!I'm hollowed out inside reading this. I'm so sorry. Kaiser was indeed a whirlwind - I could identify with him and all your adventures together. The crying won't stop.
So true and there is nothing that can be done to fight cancer.
I completely understand your emptiness and we went through it with every loss as well since no words can describe the sorrow.
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
You feel it too right. I can't see that picture the same way anymore.
I've taken several photos of Asha that haunt me because they look like what I'll remember after she dies: her moving on without me. It's sick of me to even admit I think this way, but a few times I have seen & felt what I'll feel like after she's gone. Probably why it took almost 20 years to get another dog, which I'll be the first to admit is a terrible waste of life to live without a Doberman. Only another one can heal the hurt completely, but then it's a vicious circle there too. Take all you need to pick up the pieces and heal.
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
This is exactly right. That first night without him, I couldn't sleep at all because it kept coming in waves. I could be calm and try to close my eyes, but then the next wave would come crashing.it's like throwing up. It just wells up in the pit of your gut till you are out of control.
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
No, not at all, I've had these thoughts too. When Kaiser would sleep on the sofa, I'd stare at him and think one day he won't be there. Then I'd take a picture to capture the moment. Oddly enough, the sofa is the only spot where I thought of that. I never imagined his own beds being empty though. My hb packed those away as soon as we got home and I never got to see how he left his beds all stacked up from the day before. Just as well I suppose, plenty of reminders everywhere else.
I thought about this yesterday, that maybe we could take in a Doberman in need, wouldn't have to be a puppy, but my hb wasn't keen on it, and I don't know if this is trauma talking.
I did that with Buddy too.
But it was all completely different when it happened. I thought I'd be strong. Nope. Fell apart like always.
It doesn’t feel like the waves or the rip in your stomach will ever go away. The waves eventually dissipate but the hurt of losing him doesn’t go away, it just lessens little by little with time. The best thing I did was open up to members on this forum and let it out. For some reason I did not feel comfortable doing this with my family.
Whenever you are ready, think about another to occupy those thoughts and celebrate the love and pride of Kaiser through your new one- it really helped me.
Whenever you are ready, think about another to occupy those thoughts and celebrate the love and pride of Kaiser through your new one- it really helped me.
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
I'm finding this to be the case too. Other pet owners can understand, but the level of loss is so different with a Doberman because of the intensity of the relationship and how he followed us everywhere. Or maybe people don't talk about it so openly because we're expected to move on from this type of a loss. Or maybe it's just an uncomfortable topic.
We watched TV in the basement for the first time last night. With his beds gone, there was so much space. All the beds to safe guard his bones. The extra padded mat at the bottom of the stairs because Kaiser loved to jump down and skip the last few steps and I worried he needed the cushioning for his knees. I really expected him to become an elderly dog who would have some stiff bones toward the end. But that was never going to be the case. He never showed up part way to suckle his blanket or ask for some pets. He didn't insist on an unnecessary potty break just so he could bark in the yard to hear if other dogs were out so he could bark back at them. He loved to bark back until all the other dogs would shut up hah. It always made me smile, then I'd call him off the yard and he'd come running. Towards the end of the evening he would drag his comfort bed in front of the TV to snooze near us for a bit, and then he'd stand in front of the TV to tell us hey we should go to sleep now. He was such a little boss in that way.
This morning my husband finished his breakfast plate and I saw pieces of cheese slices leftover. I knew he had sliced extra for Kaiser because we had a rule about sandwiches: if you're having one, you need to make one for Kaiser too. When I asked, he said he wasn't thinking and just cut the extra slices as a matter of habit.
People will say pets aren't like children. But it's not natural to experience the loss of a child, and that's why that loss is so tragic when it happens, because it is NOT supposed to happen that way. Whereas with a pet, you ARE signing up to experience the end. And yet, so many people sign up for this. It all seems to make no sense.
maddie9955
Well-Known Member
We lost our Chloe last month to bone cancer. She was 9 1/2 years old. I am still driving around with her collar and leash from when I took her to
the vet for the last time. Reading your messages is comforting, makes me feel like I am not the only one
the vet for the last time. Reading your messages is comforting, makes me feel like I am not the only one
Been over a year now but I have Ragnar’s collar on a hook inside my shop. Everyday I open the door and fist bump it and start talking to him.
There still is an emptiness and Ive accepted it. I can get emotional if I allow myself to think on him for a long period but I am able to cut that short and tell myself how privileged it was to have bonded with such a beast. What an exceptional chapter in my life’s book….
This is so correct and had this discussion with a workmate just yesterday. Their lives are shorter than ours, we know this but yet still do it. So much better to just not subject to the pain and heartache that will come.
It’s because they bring so much joy to us- the unconditional love, the dancing side to side, the wagging nub, the paw slap for attention, the waiting at the door as you pull into the driveway, knowing that no matter how shitty life can be or how bad your day is- they will always meet you as their number one.
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
Thank you for sharing that and I'm so sorry to hear about Chloe's passing.
No one talks about leaving the vet for the last time with their collar and leash
so thank you for bringing that up.
I'm so sorry to hear that too.
One of the absolute worst things anyone can say to me is "get over it, it was just a dog". They are part of the family and it hurts at least as much as losing a family member since we are their everything and we are all they have.
Rits
Hot Topics Subscriber
There is a tik tok I always refer back to as it brings me comfort with the natural emotions of grief and love in the times of loss. I never shared the news here because I was absolutely drained of emotions when it happened but we lost Crowley back in July due to sepsis from obstruction surgery. That sepsis likely could have been prevented if the first ER vet that saw him took quicker action in treating him (he sat in their care with the obstruction for over 24 hours). Maybe one day I'll work up the courage to post a memorial thread but every time I look at his pictures, I just break down and cry. So I'll leave this thread here with this before I sob more than I am...
"Love is not permanently gifted, it is loaned"
"Its insane to love anything, because of the pain... but oh, my god man, I love that pain. Because I got to feel it (love)."
"Its so brave to love and its only brave because its scary. If you're not scared you're not brave. Its only brave because its terrifying... its terrifying to know, this thing is going to break my heart. And I'm going to let it. I'm going to let it break my heart, because of the joy it's going to give me in the interim. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."
Last edited:
jazzies mum
Hot Topics Subscriber
We all grieve differently. Some need quiet and time to accept as best we can and others take comfort from talking about the pain. There is no right way, but just finding the way forward.
I have never found another online group that genuinely feels each other's pain and trauma when one of us suffers such a loss. It's a comfort.
I have never found another online group that genuinely feels each other's pain and trauma when one of us suffers such a loss. It's a comfort.
This is where I have found the most comfort during the devastating times since I know everyone genuinely understands.
Yes, I ran all the way home from the vet with Oji's leash and collar in hand. Chink chink chink chink...Thank you for sharing that and I'm so sorry to hear about Chloe's passing.
No one talks about leaving the vet for the last time with their collar and leash
Kaiser2016
Well-Known Member
This is what I'm trying to do now. To know that he was a chapter in my life and to accept that this chapter is done.
I'm so sorry to hear about Crowley. A life lost young is even worse.
This, I will need to think on this concept. Thanks for sharing the video. It really is such a risk to love our pets, but the risk is worth having them while we do.
I never thought I would need to talk about this loss so much, but the grief is so overwhelming that sharing it with others is the only thing that helps to lighten the load.
Thank you everyone for listening and supporting me. I have been reading out the messages to my hb too. He can't believe how much 'strangers on a forum' could love Kaiser from afar, yet the love is clearly here. I appreciate all of you
Makes a huge difference to have all of you to grieve with. Because you do get it. @Rits I am so sorry about Crowley 
and understand you not being able to bring it up.....just awful.
I cry everytime I see one of you have lost a love. Just brings up my own losses, and how much these beautiful animals mean to us...and I know you all experience the same love from them. Dobermans truly are one of a kind breed.
and understand you not being able to bring it up.....just awful.I cry everytime I see one of you have lost a love. Just brings up my own losses, and how much these beautiful animals mean to us...and I know you all experience the same love from them. Dobermans truly are one of a kind breed.
Similar threads
