Allow Dobe to Sleep in Child's Room at Night?

[DD4MSpock]

I can add only this. My grandparents left me alone with their dobie "Duchess" when I was 3-4. Never an issue. Granted I was, most likely in a Playpen at the time and Duchess having free reign of the back yard, but.. Of course, as a teen, I was put in charge of "primary care" for Mr. Spock... feeding, walking, clean up, etc. Never an issue. Of course, I can't speak for other dogs. Each personality is different. And I wonder if there's a difference between leaving child and dog alone while "sleeping at night" vs. "other activities when they could be alone together..." I don't recall a time where I ever slept alone with any of the dogs, but we often shared a family room together while we watched TV.

 

[Gelcoater]

What if she has a nightmare and screams, and Oji rushes to her and scares her. She may develop a fear of him which may disrupt the comfort level she has with him now. Just imagine how much more devilish they look coming out of the shadows of a dark room

Aren't you glad you asked

As a counter point here.
Daisy actually helped my youngest overcome her fears of sleeping in a dark room, monster in the closet or under the bed, etc.
We’d walk Daisy around the room, in the closet, etc.
Then remind her how Daisy was acting when she found that rat outside...or what she did to it when she caught it. (Rat under some lumber out back that met an unfortunate end )
Is she acting like that now? That’s because there’s no monsters, or she’d smell them from a mile away!
No monster would dare come in here
That issue just sort of went away after that.

 

[Oh Little Oji]

Maybe you can observe the first evening.

When I introduced Rex to our bed to sleep, I set alarms (on vibrate not to wake him) every few hours to see where he was on the bed and his positioning awake/chewing on blankets etc. I also put his “pee slip lead” on him and tied it to my body so if he jumped off the bed or moved a significant amount of distance it’d wake me up. I did this on a weekend night since my sleep was going to be affected.

Maybe what you can do is, let him sleep in her room on a Friday night. Check in on them every hour and see what he’s doing in the room. Possibly even put a pet camera so you could observe him more covertly and see how it goes and go from there.

Good thoughts, thanks. Definitely my opening the door would change whatever was going in with him. He'd jump up and be ready for action. Buuut... ...we do still have a baby monitor that works!

 

[Antman408]

Good thoughts, thanks. Definitely my opening the door would change whatever was going in with him. He'd jump up and be ready for action. Buuut... ...we do still have a baby monitor that works!

Great! How old is oji?

 

[Firestar Dobe]

Any dog can bite/attack, it doesn't matter the breed or the size. I was bit at about 9yrs old by the family beagle, just sitting on the floor watching TV, and there was no provocation, still have the scar. Anything can happen with any dog, they are dogs. I think the only answer is are you comfortable with your dogs reaction to unexpected things, is the dogs training solid, do the dog and child get along well? If yes, then try it with some supervision at the start and if all goes well then you certainly should be able to do this!

 

[Oh Little Oji]

As a counter point here.
Daisy actually helped my youngest overcome her fears of sleeping in a dark room, monster in the closet or under the bed, etc.
We’d walk Daisy around the room, in the closet, etc.
Then remind her how Daisy was acting when she found that rat outside...or what she did to it when she caught it. (Rat under some lumber out back that met an unfortunate end )
Is she acting like that now? That’s because there’s no monsters, or she’d smell them from a mile away!
No monster would dare come in here
That issue just sort of went away after that.

That is SO cool! Yeah, we have at least included mention of Oji in our reassuring, answering and comforting of our girl at bedtime. She really got into a very bad stretch of bedtime anxiety about a year ago. In fact, just last night we got another dose of it. I won't get into it too much, but the bottom line is she forces me to bring her into the room with me to sleep because she will not be consoled. This is much like what Oji did to me on the first night I brought him home. My wife needs sleep and all the child or Dobe needs to do is make noise or (in effect) threaten to make noise and I have no choice to have them sleep in the room with me. It's highly frustrating.
So, anyway: I have not wanted to get Oji too involved because I do not want to create any sort of deeper connection between our daughter and our Dobe. Dobes die, you know. Oji is about to turn four, and thus probably has at least four more years to live which would put our daughter at 11 or 12. Hopefully by that time she would have moved on to the stage of girlhood when they are sort of disinterested in family pets. But still...

 

[Oh Little Oji]

Great! How old is oji?

He is about to turn four.

 

[Kaiser2016]

@Oh Little Oji I'm glad you already thought about her age around 'that time'. I didn't want to mention it, because it's a sad thought to consider, but it's the harsh reality as well. I'd definitely factor that in.

 

[Minionmama]

I, like others have said, think it is based on your dog and child. My previous dog, a lab dobe mix, I would have never left alone with my kids. He was reactive and slightly unpredictable. My current dobe, I'm pretty confident that once she's older she will be fine to be alone with the kids. She is very different with them than she is with me. Its almost like she knows she could hurt them and is very careful not to. She is incredibly gentle with them. If you trust oji then I don't see a problem with it. I would consider all the things that could happen and how he would react.

 

[MyBuddy]

So, anyway: I have not wanted to get Oji too involved because I do not want to create any sort of deeper connection between our daughter and our Dobe. Dobes die, you know. Oji is about to turn four, and thus probably has at least four more years to live which would put our daughter at 11 or 12. Hopefully by that time she would have moved on to the stage of girlhood when they are sort of disinterested in family pets. But still...

Wow. Well, there's food for thought. And a sobering one at that. Interesting that you are already considering this, and something I would be too. I'm a "planner" after all. I don't believe you are going to 'get away' from that deeper connection. It's probably already there . And it's not a bad thing actually . I don't know if I'd want to stop the connection just for fear of the end. It's wonderful for children to grow up loving a pet. I understand completely how hard it might be if something happened. But we've all been through that. It's a fact of life. Our daughters cat of 18 years just passed away last year. Their twins are 11 yrs old. The cat was a part of their life from day one. I, myself, cried like a baby here by myself on the phone with my daughter as the cat passed away. My daughter and I spent a long time at a shelter picking out her cat together. She was special to me too.

I worried so much about my grandchildren and how they were going to take it. And I told her that maybe it would help if they could each write a short letter to the cat and bury it with her. And that's what they did. I think they did very well. There wasn't a long mourning process. Sometimes now when they see a cat on TV or real life it all comes back and they feel sad. But they will be getting one again sometime. She actually would like me to help her pick out another one! Lol I don't know if it'll work out that way but I would be glad to help if I could. Now she has family. Maybe they should all go together. But she feels that my decision was a good one. So she's like my help again. We did spend a lot of time playing with several cats until I finally said, I think this is the one.

So what was your decision in all this?

 

[Oh Little Oji]

Perhaps my personal issues surrounding trust and relationships are showing. I want to protect our daughter from anyone/anything that will go away.

Well, I think I have arrived at: I want Oji to just have free reign of the house as we sleep. It just goes against a most basic tenet of safety to trust my dog alone with my child. So, Oji knows not to go into our girl's room (though I think he has violated that on an occasion or two, checking on her) and he will probably stay out of there at night.

Now, if we switch up rooms and move our child to the room that Oji and I have been sharing that will probably present a problem in that he will feel more free to go into her room and might just wind up sleeping in there if he has free reign.

The biggest problem with my plan is that, as you all may recall, there are no window coverings on the windows that are on each side of the front door. (thanks to HGTV I know these are called "side lights") There is an ongoing disagreement between my wife and me on window coverings. She loves light and does not want blinds on those side lights. I, however, believe it's fundamental for a person to be able to achieve total privacy in their own home. We do not have that. Anyone can look into our house from the sidewalk, from across the street, wherever. Anyone can wander up (and we do have all sorts of shady business going on all around here every night. Cars broken into and rifled through nightly. Houses broken into, even in broad daylight. Purses snatched from entry ways when all the lights in the house are on and people can be seen moving about in the house) So yeah, anybody can wander right on up to our front porch and look into our house at any time. It's especially frustrating when my wife sets a piece of mail right there by those front side lights with our names on display. I always turn the mail over.

Anyway! The issue is Oji barking at things he sees out those uncovered windows, and you'd better believe he does it!! He knows (he should anyway) not to bark at a person walking on the other side of the street. He does do it, though, and he most certainly barks at any and all animals he sees. You guys and gals know what it's like, eh?

The absolutely great news is: One of the major blessings we have in Oji is he does not really alert to sounds that much outside the house. It's mostly what he SEES. So if I can just get my wife to allow us to put blinds on those front side lights – and those blinds can be ones that he cannot just push aside with his beak, we should do pretty well. I'm sure there will be some outbursts of needless barking in the night, but hopefully it can be kept to a minimum. I might even put his zapper collar on him when I go to bed. This has the general effect of quelling his barking habit.

 

[MyBuddy]

The biggest problem with my plan is that, as you all may recall, there are no window coverings on the windows that are on each side of the front door. (thanks to HGTV I know these are called "side lights") There is an ongoing disagreement between my wife and me on window coverings. She loves light and does not want blinds on those side lights. I, however, believe it's fundamental for a person to be able to achieve total privacy in their own home.

I'm with you on this one! Your wife have a good sense of security! Which is a good thing, of course. But sometimes a little misguided. If I may be so bold. I hate those open side lights! But I love the look of them and have had them in both homes we built. The last home was just a plain, open side light that I eventually covered with a stick on 'mural' type of thing that you could not see through. I contemplated using this reflective stuff that lets you see out but no one can see in. The problem with THAT was, at night, it was reversed!! If you had lights on you could not see out but anyone on the outside could see IN! It was stupid!

I really stressed over what to use because I like the light that it would give AND I would like to be able to look out once in a while too. But I do NOT want someone, anyone, who comes to my door to be able to look in!

This house I compromised with this.









It's not total blackout, but it offers some privacy while allowing light and me to look out. I'm sure we don't get as many people as you do at our front door and we are about 550 feet off the road, so this semi privacy works well for me. Maybe a similar compromise would work for you.

 

[Gelcoater]

Perhaps my personal issues surrounding trust and relationships are showing. I want to protect our daughter from anyone/anything that will go away.

Well, I think I have arrived at: I want Oji to just have free reign of the house as we sleep. It just goes against a most basic tenet of safety to trust my dog alone with my child. So, Oji knows not to go into our girl's room (though I think he has violated that on an occasion or two, checking on her) and he will probably stay out of there at night.

Now, if we switch up rooms and move our child to the room that Oji and I have been sharing that will probably present a problem in that he will feel more free to go into her room and might just wind up sleeping in there if he has free reign.

The biggest problem with my plan is that, as you all may recall, there are no window coverings on the windows that are on each side of the front door. (thanks to HGTV I know these are called "side lights") There is an ongoing disagreement between my wife and me on window coverings. She loves light and does not want blinds on those side lights. I, however, believe it's fundamental for a person to be able to achieve total privacy in their own home. We do not have that. Anyone can look into our house from the sidewalk, from across the street, wherever. Anyone can wander up (and we do have all sorts of shady business going on all around here every night. Cars broken into and rifled through nightly. Houses broken into, even in broad daylight. Purses snatched from entry ways when all the lights in the house are on and people can be seen moving about in the house) So yeah, anybody can wander right on up to our front porch and look into our house at any time. It's especially frustrating when my wife sets a piece of mail right there by those front side lights with our names on display. I always turn the mail over.

Anyway! The issue is Oji barking at things he sees out those uncovered windows, and you'd better believe he does it!! He knows (he should anyway) not to bark at a person walking on the other side of the street. He does do it, though, and he most certainly barks at any and all animals he sees. You guys and gals know what it's like, eh?

The absolutely great news is: One of the major blessings we have in Oji is he does not really alert to sounds that much outside the house. It's mostly what he SEES. So if I can just get my wife to allow us to put blinds on those front side lights – and those blinds can be ones that he cannot just push aside with his beak, we should do pretty well. I'm sure there will be some outbursts of needless barking in the night, but hopefully it can be kept to a minimum. I might even put his zapper collar on him when I go to bed. This has the general effect of quelling his barking habit.

How much time and or money are you willing to spend on this deal, Tad?
I’ve seen windows where the blinds are in between the two sheets of glass in a double pane window. It’s a win, win, win.
You get security of being able to easily block view, she gets all the light she wants, and Oji can’t mess with em.

 

[Oh Little Oji]

How much time and or money are you willing to spend on this deal, Tad?
I’ve seen windows where the blinds are in between the two sheets of glass in a double pane window. It’s a win, win, win.
You get security of being able to easily block view, she gets all the light she wants, and Oji can’t mess with em.

Those type of windows are cool. What we have in place now are leaded glass windows that I consider to be original to the house which is over a century old and I am hesitant to replace them. Fortunately, I have been able to get Oji to almost always refrain from punching these windows with his paws when he goes ballistic at them. They do have a slight give to them.

 

[MyBuddy]

How much time and or money are you willing to spend on this deal, Tad?
I’ve seen windows where the blinds are in between the two sheets of glass in a double pane window. It’s a win, win, win.
You get security of being able to easily block view, she gets all the light she wants, and Oji can’t mess with em.

We have a glass door between our bedroom and our sun room that has the blind in between the glass. It's nice but I can't imagine replacing those side lights with those. That's got to be pretty pricey and a big project. Much easier to just add something. A blind. A drape. Or even some kind of stained glass. In our last house I had added a stained-glass to two of our bathroom windows. It was just something that was added on over the window. Still allowed light, but a beautiful covering and you couldn't see through it.

 

[MyBuddy]

Well, I think I have arrived at: I want Oji to just have free reign of the house as we sleep. It just goes against a most basic tenet of safety to trust my dog alone with my child. So, Oji knows not to go into our girl's room (though I think he has violated that on an occasion or two, checking on her) and he will probably stay out of there at night.

Now, if we switch up rooms and move our child to the room that Oji and I have been sharing that will probably present a problem in that he will feel more free to go into her room and might just wind up sleeping in there if he has free reign.

There's probably quite a few of us who give their dogs free rein out of the house. Especially after they get a little older and can be trusted. That's probably not a bad thing for you. Are your bedroom doors closed? To your room and your daughters? I'm just wondering how much of a problem it would be waking up your wife. I totally understand her need for sleep. Our daughter, the meteorologist, works different hours. Sometimes sleeping during the day. So getting a dog instead of a cat would really be out for her. Darn it LOL I'd rather dog-sit than cat sit really, but she can't have a dog barking and waking her up. And what about your daughter's room? If the doors are all open, I can see him wandering from room to room and finally sleeping somewhere. Even in your daughter's room. Which should be okay if they are just sleeping. Switching up the room probably would confuse him. But he's getting older and probably much more trustworthy. Have you ever let him loose during the night?

 

[Gman88]

This thread has sparked my interest to see what Ragnar would do if I left the crate door open and let him roam freely. I will try it this weekend...

I've had Bruno for about 11 days now and he sleeps in a crate next to my bed. The first couple nights I locked the cage door, then on the third or fourth night I left the door open.

That first night he slept as close as he could get to me in between the crate and my bed. Every night afterward he sleeps in the same spot until I fall asleeping. Then when I get up hes asleep in his crate.

 

[Oh Little Oji]

I've been meaning to update you all on this. I'd like to snap a pic of what the setup looks like – it's pretty cute.

We did not choose to let Oji have free reign of the house in the night. Instead, we chose to have him sleep in our daughter's room with her. I guess, thinking back, we did not come to agree that window covering should be put on the front windows ("side lights.")

So it came down to the decision between letting him sleep baby-gated into her room, or letting him sleep baby-gated in her closet (remember, this closet is where he slept when that room was where I slept).

As the last moment, as we got her ready for bed, I decided that we should gate him into "his" closet.

Thank God he is such a reliable Dobe in terms of chewing! For all his faults and anxiety, he is just not a chewer. Really, any time I get down on him for all his shortcomings, I need to remember two MAJOR ways in which he is phenomenal: Reliable with family – including our little child – and not a chewer!! I have re-read through this entire thread and thank you, friends, for reminding me that we must have her pick up clothes like socks and underwear, as those are the more tempting things to chew/swallow.

The biggest risk in this new setup is Oji whining in the night. That has had me on edge (something I'm used to). I have sometimes had his electronic training collar on him, but he amazingly has not proved to be a whining problem in there!

It even works out as my child and wife almost always wake up before me (except school days when I get up and get her ready and take her to school). So when she leaves her room, she simply leaves him gated in the closet and he waits for me to get up and come get him. It's amazing!!

I think it really helped that I happened to have already established that closet as his space prior to our room-changeup!

 

[Oh Little Oji]

Now, consider something that I mentioned in the chat box today but it seemed to get buried:

Our daughter told us yesterday that sometimes when they are in her room together she sees his legs start to shake and his eyes turn red. What?!?

She is not a child who makes stuff up. We have a good, honest relationship with her and she is an extraordinarily well behaved child. So this freaks me out!

I asked, and she says it is the whites of his eyes that turn red, or a sort of dark red.

My best guess is that he is having a dream, and his eyes sort of roll back and flutter. ?

I found out on Saturday that she at some point had herself gated inside the closet with him as this happened. I told her that she should not join him in the closet, especially with the gate closed. That positions her blocked in the closet with him closest to the door.

Any ideas on this creepy revelation?

 

[Drogon]

Fury's eyes look red when he's very tired. Legs shaking - probably just a doggie dream. Fury does that all the time. I could see a child saying his eyes turn red and his legs shaking.