Re-homing Conundrum

[BLG]

Hello Everyone,

I am in the process of finding a new family for Mo, my 18-month old neutered male.

We got Mo when he was 9 weeks old. He has been terrific but not enough for my husband to overcome his dislike of him. (That's another story).

After many weeks and planning, I found another family where he has been living on a trial basis. Five days so far. So far so good tho the mom of the family is apprehensive about walking Mo alone.

Yesterday, my trainer let me know that a colleague of his, whom I know and think would be ideal for Mo, would love to have our Dobie. If I had known this before finding the family, I would have re-homed Mo with the trainer. Now he is with this other family.

What would you do? What should I do?

I appreciate any and all feedback.

Thank you,
Britt-Louise

 

[JanS]

What is the reason your husband doesn't like him? Does he just not like dogs?

I could never personally rehome one of our dogs after making the decision to bring them into our home to start with.

I'm sorry you're facing this.

 

[Rits]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As someone that has been in your shoes but for different circumstances, no one wants to rehome their dogs, but sometimes it is what is best for the dog and the family. Even doing all the right things, sometimes it doesn't go as planned and doesn't work out. You already feel pretty awful I'm sure and thought long and hard about this decision.

Ultimately the dog is still yours and it is your responsibility he ends up in the right home for him. I would take Mo back (first) and apologize to the family that you don't think this is the right fit for him.

 

[Ravenbird]

So far so good tho the mom of the family is apprehensive about walking Mo alone.

I would reach out and ask her how things are going. Let her know that there is another home available if she is having any 2nd thoughts at all. That gives her an out without feeling guilty or not up to your expectations. This is a really hard thing for a dog to be shuffled around, so before you approached her I would make SURE the other person is rock solid. It's just not fair to the dog. Also, if she insists that she wants to keep him, offer her support and help so she learns to get along with him. If she's apprehensive, it sounds like he's already taking charge of his new place and trouble can develop from that. I'm terribly sad you have had to give him up at all, so many of us here would choose our dogs over our human family, but everyone has to make choices and move forward. If the dog has any aggression tendencies that are at the root of the problem at your house, you need to be very clear with the new owners about it. May your dog fall into a loving home with a strong leader and all of you find peace.

Edit to say, I'm assuming the breeder where you got the puppy did not have an agreement that you return the puppy to them under any circumstance that you could no longer keep him? I personally would not buy from a breeder without this clause. If I died tomorrow, my dog would go back to her and she would find the best home. Breeders have a huge network of people looking for dogs of the type that they breed.

 

[BLG]

Thanks to all who have written. I deeply aprpeciate your feedback.

Mo does not have aggression tendencies. I have trained him for sit, down, stay, and a good recall off leash. He is house trained and loves his crate. He is interested in his human pack, always want to be nearby, and has a ball when he is out and about, off-leash with other dogs. He is just GREAT.

We are a family with four children, one of whom is disabled because of a stoke he suffered two years ago at the age of 8.

In the hospital, where my son was in the ICU for several weeks he responded to the therapy dogs tho he couldn't speek at all, or move much. They made such a difference for him. My husband, who grew up in a third world country where feral dogs ran free as a form of protection on his farm, and was terrified of them from a young age, turned to me one day when I came into our son's room and said, "we're getting a dog for him."

I spent the next 6-7 months of our son's hospitalization researching dogs but kept thinking back to Dobermans. I had an amazing experience with a Doberman many years before and thought, given how smart, loyal, and strong that dog was, that the breed would be perfect to walk beside our son as our son slowly learned to walk again and to keep him safe in the sense that people would see our son walking with Mo and maintain a respectful distance.

I trained Mo but not enough so that he would be less rambunctious during his "teen-age" hood. He is after all, a dog, and a Doberman, full of energy, at that. My husband was clearly unahppy and wanted training to proceed faster, and wanted me to be less lenient, I guess? Anyway, our family atmosphere deteriorated and it felt more and more that the only person who loved Mo and had the patience for him, and faith in him was me. We had hoped he would bond with our son, but looking back, I think our son was not ready for any kind of dog.

One night, several weeks ago, I walked Mo late at nightm without his leash. At one point, he took off up a hill. He ran effortlessly and fast, happy. I think I knew then that Mo needed much more than our family could realistically provide. it wasn't just that he wasn't right for us. That's when I delcided we needed to find him a better family.

Thank you for reading and for your feedback.

 

[BG1]

I think you have been deliberate and wise. And keeping whats best for the dog uppermost in this transition...

I'd call the foster family and update them with the opportunity for Mo. And wait and see. Sounds like the trainer will be there as a backup.

Out of curiousity, do you have a written contract on the fostering? At what point does the dog become the fosters legal property?

Also, sorry to hear about your husband's unhappiness...could it be he needs some attention RN? Could he have valid concerns?

Not taking sides, just riffing on "the other part of the story". You have a lot going on...there will be more dogs in your future, I am sure.

 

[Two Dobes]

Would love to know how this situation is now....

 

[BLG]

Dear All,

Thank you for your compassion, support and counsel regarding my efforts to re-home Mo.

A happy conclusion, though the process was sad and difficult for me and for one or two of the other humans who had come to love Mo in the short time they had gotten acquainted with him. Not challenging for Mo - thank goodness! Eighteen-month old Mo seemed happy throughout the two weeks of change, full of energy and cheerfulness.

I placed Mo with an up-and-coming trainer (Anna) who I'd gotten to know when I attended my group training classes with Mo during the last year. As it transpired, she was looking for a dog just like Mo when she found out about him from our head trainer (Rick). Anna works/learns under the head trainer. Her life partner, a track-and-field coach lives in Ohio where she works at the collegiate level. In NYC, Anna is outside all day working, hiking, walking, or jogging.

All the pictures and videos I have seen show Mo in wide open fields or trails with Anna, happy.

Here is an email exchange that I think kind of says it all:

me:
"Hi there, I hope your time with Mo continues to be good. I know you are thinking of training him for schutzhund. I am just wondering if you intend to sell him once that is accomplished or if you intend to keep him as his new forever family?"

Anna:
"Oh no! I would never sell Mo - I know Rick has talked about other trainers that are that way - but I don't think I could ever get there.

I just don't see dogs like that - to me they are a part of the family. Like I said, if Mo couldn't get there in the sport or didn't have "it" I would just find something else to meet his needs that we could do together. I love watching and seeing all the things dogs are capable of but they are also much more than a machine. I've spending most of our time currently doing relationship work - we have not been doing much practice iwth obedience (some but nothing major) because I rather really bond and get close with him."

I continue to stay in touch and monitor Mo's care and well-being.

Please share any thoughts, concerns or advice regarding Mo's re-homing.

Thank you all.
Britt-Louise

 

[Ravenbird]

Thank you so much for the update - it sounds like win-win-win: You, Anna and Mo!

 

[JanS]

Yes thank you for the update. It sounds like he found a perfect forever home!

 

[Two Dobes]

Thank you so much for including Mo's new story! Sounds like a perfect match. PS, I did not know that people trained and titled dobes then found them another home. I am so glad that Anna is keeping him forever

 

[Kaiser2016]

Wow, thanks for the update! Too often we don't get to hear how the situation was resolved. Sounds like everyone is happy. My only advice for Anna, since she is working on the bond, would be to play with Mo. They love ball, frisbee, tug, Chuck it, etc. It works wonders to train obedience in a Doberman through play.

 

[JanS]

And invite her to join here to keep us updated.