Velcro Dobie…help!

[KingBjornFam]

My doberman, Bjorn, is now 10 months old, and he is more clingy then ever..it’s effecting my husband and my relationship and everything in my home is revolved around our pup.

We ADORE Bjorn, he is lovingly the center of our world, but…he needs SO MUCH attention, he is always looking to be entertained by me or my husband. But we can’t focus on him 24/7 as we are so busy, we own two companies with employees. I also am about to get hip replacement surgery, so physically I can’t do much with him, but he does play at daycare for a few hours every day, and he gos to the dog park to play ball daily with me. But hubby won’t put the time in walking him, which I think would help a lot.

Bjorn also sleeps with us, (yes we messed that up early on…he has slept with us since we got him), so hubby and I have NO space….thoughts on how to handle a extremely Velcro dobie? I need somewhat of a life outside of him….we haven’t left him at home alone yet either, he’s either at home with us, at daycare, or rides on errands with us. I need a breather….what can I do create some boundaries? I miss even just a short date night with my husband. I knew dobies were clingy and protective, and I’d never trade him for anything in the world, but….I just need a moment here and there. help.

 

[LifeofRubie]

Crate training him might not be a bad idea. Each of our dogs have their own 42" crates with raised cots. They're in there at night and our Dobe is in her crate if we're going to be out of the house for a bit of time . Our Lab has shown that he's successful outside of a crate if we leave the house but he's still in his crate at night.

You start off by making it a game! Don't just throw him in there and up and leave. There seem to be a lot of resources on youtube if you search for "crate games" (perhaps someone can guide you to one they've used and preferred).

You said yourself he's being constantly stimulated. He needs to learn it's OK to have down time (which a crate can help teach him) and allow you and your husband to spend quality time together.

It's also important to remember, he is a dog and he's adaptable. He won't hate you for setting boundaries but give him time to learn.

I totally understand dogs being a huge part of people's lives (my husband and I don't have kids so our dogs are a high priority), but if we want to step out without the dogs or with one dog and not the other, the expectation we have for them is that they accept that. We're headed out for a movie tonight so I've already got their kongs in the freezer to give them a bit more mental stimulation in our absence. They're often usually excited to see us go as soon as I bring the kongs out and will run up to their crates (soaked kibble to make it mushy and then mixed with yogurt and pure pumpkin and filled the kongs to the brim before tossing in the freezer).

We went from both working out of the house to me being full time work from home in 2020 because of Covid. Even though I'm home with the dogs all day, I'm not constantly interacting with them. They're also older and were both accustomed to us being gone in the AM and PM with a break at lunch but, generally, they move from one nap spot to the other during the day and still look forward to our evening walk. They don't get *that* much more entertainment even though I'm home all day than when we weren't.

 

[Kaiser2016]

I don't even know where to start...

 

[JanS]

I agree that crate training is essential. They will be very vocal at first but make it a safe haven for him and never use it as punishment. All of our pups/dogs are fed in the crate so when I say "time to eat" they run right in there and anticipate their meal.

Your hubby also needs to step up and help if you're going to have surgery. Let him feed him, do a little simple obedience and other things so he respects him too.

We let our dogs sleep with us too but they know their boundaries. It's our bed so if they want to be in there, they need to follow our rules.

 

[Kaiser2016]

he is more clingy then ever

Oh, it will get worse

it’s effecting my husband and my relationship and everything in my home is revolved around our pup.

He is the King afterall

he is always looking to be entertained

Sounds about right

we own two companies with employees

I read this as: Bjorn has two employees. Which is also correct!

But hubby won’t put the time in walking him, which I think would help a lot

That has to change. It takes a team effort to manage one of these DoberDevils!

Bjorn also sleeps with us, (yes we messed that up early on…he has slept with us since we got him)

Actually, this is a good thing. I think your problems would be way worse if he didN'T sleep with you

I need somewhat of a life outside of him

Do you really?

we haven’t left him at home alone yet either

This is not good. I would make a point of giving him some alone time, and crate training will definitely help solve a lot of your problems.

 

[EricA]

Get another Doberman for him to play with.

(and a bigger bed!)

 

[EricA]

We let our dogs sleep with us too but they know their boundaries. It's our bed so if they want to be in there, they need to follow our rules.

For several years Dystopia always had her spot up close to the headboard and Patience had her spot down towards the foot of the bed. Here lately Patience has preferred to spoon with her back up against my tummy and her face close to mine.

My only hard 'rule' is no Dober butts pointed at my face or in the direction of my face. Learned my lesson the hard way with those gasses that occasionally slip out in the middle of the night. NEVER again!!!

 

[lsunbury]

The Dobie I have now is the first one I have crated, and now I will do this for every Dobie that follows him. He sees it as a sanctuary. If I leave the door open he will go in and lay there himself. If a salesperson or repair person is in the house, I just say "kennel" and he goes in. I have, but rarely use it for discipline. Isolation works as a mild punishment for these dogs. This might work for you. I tell people if they want a backyard dog, or a dog without a strong desire to be around you, the Doberman might not be the dog for you.

 

[Kswoodssue]

We keep one cage/ crate in our bedroom and another in my husband’s office out in the shop. Sometimes she sleeps with us. Sometimes she sleeps in the crate. She understands that WE choose where she sleeps. We leave her crated for the grocery shopping, out to dinner, church and family and friend get together s. She goes with us most everywhere else. We do occasionally have to board her over a weekend for work, and I detest leaving her. She is so happy to see us every single time we open her crate door. Right now she is sleeping against me with her head on my foot. I adore her, but we all need breaks too. Good luck with your surgery!

 

[MyBuddy]

Your hubby also needs to step up and help if you're going to have surgery.

A lot of good advice here and this is one of the most important. Especially if you're going in for surgery! Who else is going to take care of Bjorn?? He needs to start bonding with him now so you don't have a problem later.

Not sure if you know this but Doberman's are not called a 'velcro dog' for nothing! They are a working dog and not a couch potato. They need a lot of stimulus or they'll create their own fun and you won't think it's fun! Keep his mind and body active, teach him a crate is his Safe Haven, and maybe you can get him one of these calming beds and he'll give up yours.

They make them big enough for Dobermans too!

I'm one of the few here that never wanted my doberman on my bed. I need my space! It's bad enough I got to share with my husband! Just kidding but really our first Doberman was in our bed and I said, never again. It seems this calming bed is very popular and dogs and cats seem to really enjoy it. If you put it right next to your bed you might find he loves it! He'll be close by but in a bed that he'll be very comfortable in.

 

[Doberman Gang]

Crate training is a must. I would also not do the dog parks. Day care maybe if there are good trainers there. But more than likely I would avoid those as well. Your dog does not need dog friends and that is not what socializing is. There are things that can happen at dog parks and day cares that can affect your dog for life. Not good things.

 

[EricA]

We keep one cage/ crate in our bedroom and another in my husband’s office out in the shop. Sometimes she sleeps with us. Sometimes she sleeps in the crate. She understands that WE choose where she sleeps. We leave her crated for the grocery shopping, out to dinner, church and family and friend get together s. She goes with us most everywhere else. We do occasionally have to board her over a weekend for work, and I detest leaving her. She is so happy to see us every single time we open her crate door. Right now she is sleeping against me with her head on my foot. I adore her, but we all need breaks too. Good luck with your surgery!

I am a BIG believer in crates but -

Have an 'open door policy' with respect to them.

If I got to go to the grocery store (or wherever) there is no way I am locking any Doberman of mine inside a crate. Same thing at work - If I decide to leave the shop for a few to go grab some lunch or supplies there is no way I am locking the Dobermans up somewhere before I leave.

Not sure how many of you people have ever had your home or business broken in to but it DOES happen. Your Doberman will be absolutely worthless in such an event if they are locked inside a crate. If I am gone someplace and a criminal kicks my door down to do some stealing he IS going to greeted by a pair of pissed off Dobermans that despise intruders. More likely than not my girls would notice something did not sound right and be AT the door in question doing a lot of warning long before it was actually opened. (yes, Dobermans can learn to differentiate between the sounds that YOUR vehicle makes as it pulls up as compared to others) Possibly deter the criminal and make them decide to go elsewhere before they bust my door down.

I think my current girls were about 2 yrs old before I was satisfied enough with their house training that I no longer 'needed' to latch the doors on their crates any longer. I think it has been at least 2 or 3 years years now since I touched a crate door to close it? No need. If I tell one (or both) to 'crate' - they are going to get in their crate and stay there until told otherwise or there is a pressing need for them to come out (like warning away a potential criminal).

(When I say 'house training' I am not just talking about going to potty outside - I am talking about them being properly trained to NOT damage my home or my stuff inside it)


I forget what she did to piss me off but one of mine got sent to her crate to sleep one night not too long ago. (Her sister and I never left the bedroom) Twice I heard her get out of her crate and try to sneak down the hall to hop back in the bed with us and both times she was loudly told to get her butt back in her crate. When I finally got out of bed in the morning her butt was in her crate (with the door wide open) waiting for me to tell her that she could come out.

A Doberman can't protect you OR your home if they are locked in a box.

 

[MyBuddy]

. I would also not do the dog parks

I agree! Unless you are the only one there! I know so many folks here are looking for some place to run their dog loose, but like @Doberman Gang said (and we say it a lot!) too many things can happen in the blink of an eye. Everything is good....until it's not!

My sister in law is a good example. She has a 2 yr old Golden that is having problems with other dogs. This is her 4th Golden so she's not new to them. She was telling me her issues...lunging at other dogs, growling, just not getting along. She walks with a few neighbors and sometimes they have to be across the street from them! I asked her a few questions (not that I'm an expert! Far from it. But I was trying to brainstorm with her) when she told me about an incident at a dog park. Huh, ok, that's got to be it. I've heard this scenario many times on the board! When her dog was younger , she was at a dog park when another dog went after her dog. She was right there with her dog, but as often happens, the other owner was not paying attention! Her dog was frightened and she never went back. But the damage is done. She's recently paid BIG bucks to have a trainer help her.