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My Axl has passed

AxelRose

Well-Known Member
Hello It was a sad day this past Friday, June 7, 2019. Anyone who remembers Axl and I. He was a beautiful boy. Lots of digestion issues tho back in the day. A puppy rescued, just turning 8 weeks of age. A tough nut to crack, but we made it through. These last few years he became the most loving dog. I only wished he would have grown old, with a little gray on his face. Unfortunately, it all turned ugly. As he was showing stiff hips the last two years, he would go on Metacam for a few days here and there, like using advil. He was also taking a natural supplement. But he could never take anything for more then a few days. I had switched his food over the winter after a bout of kennel cough he caught from the new neighbours pup. Like everything else with him, it looked like he was losing some weight, but he looked gorgeous and was happy and full of vigor. I was planning on changing the food. He also had grown some fatty tumors, chest and rib cage behind underarms.
A few weeks ago I decided to give some metacam, as he was pretty stiff getting off couch. He did Friday to Sunday. Sunday night he was groaning. I know that groan. His tummy isn’t good. So i said to myself, well no more of that stuff. Monday morning he ran out first thing with Stella, chasing after a squirrel. Turning, he wiped out in garden, landing on his hips. He got right back up and ran down fence line. Then he was limping. But this is what always happened with him over the years. He had a bad back left leg when I rescued him.

Over the years, he would always hurt it and needs days of rest. Then he would recover. So i took it to be the same, because by dinner he was acting normal. The next few days he was not himself...I took it to be the remnants of the meds, stupid me,...by Friday he was bright and happy, full of life again.
Saturday he was unwell again, wouldn’t eat, then back to normal again. Went to vet. Did blood work and Tuesday it came back Stage 5 Lymphoma and Acute Leukaemia. Kidney issues, high liver enzymes, low t4, and platelets were bottom low. Cancer? Shock? Disbelief? Is this his bloodwork? He was fine a week ago. OMG. He just went downhill from there. Knowing he was not the dog to be alone in a cage at a cancer hospital and didn’t want him to die alone, I kept him home and tried to manage whatever he was feeling, but nothing was working, he was failing before my eyes. He never yelped, never moaned, showed no pain vocally but just seemed exhausted. It was a horrible experience. You could see he just didn’t want to leave me. Heart breaking I knew he had to. . Had his vet come to our house on the Friday. It was the last of my love I could give Axl. I wanted him to be stress free, on his bed, with Stella and me. I lyed with him on his bed in living room all morning. Lots of hugs and kisses. He got up and had his breakfast. Served him his favourite because i wanted him to enjoy a last loving meal. And he did eat it. Then went back to his bed. He just couldn’t get back up and for 6 hrs he lay there. Only until my brother came other, who he adored, he used all his energy and got up to greet him. It was so beautiful yet so sad to watch. We managed to get him outside for his last walk around yard and to eliminate. He said his goodbyes to the neighbours and then u could see he was done.

He is gone now . He had just turned 9 in March. Just 3 weeks ago we were all relaxing on the deck... I miss him terribly. Everything has changed. Life has changed. Im lost. He was always so demanding the brat, lol, and now I feel all this time around me. Trying to keep my Stella comfortable. She will be 13 this year. Just can’t put all his things away yet..... RIP Axl ❤️
As I am typing, the vet just called, Axl’s ashes are in . Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Im just sad. Guess I better go get ready, I have to go bring my boy home... Give all your dogs a big hug ⭕❌.
 

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So very sorry for your loss. But you absolutely did the right thing for him, and by him. He is in a much better place, now. May we all be as fortunate.

:sorrow:
 
Tears for Axl and you. There are no words to truly comfort you, but Axl will always be in your heart. I am so very sorry for your loss.
 
This breaks my heart for you. I’m so deeply sorry. I’m sat here with tears in my eyes :(

Axel sure was lucky to have you in his life. What a special life he lived and what a gift you gave him. You showed him true love by letting him go, that’s the purest act of love there is.

I know words do little to ease the pain you feel right now but keep the memories close to your heart and know that I’m keeping you in mine.

RIP sweet boy :sorrow:
 
I’m so sorry for what you must be going through, but I agree that you did the right thing for Axl. I hope having his ashes come home will help you get through this.
 
Oh boy. Sorry but could not read the entire post.
So sad and heartbreaking.

Been here and actually got lost in the sadness.

Get you another as soon as you are able. Not to replace Axl but to help pull you out.
 
I read this through tears and an ache in my heart for you. You had the love and courage to let Axl go to be free of pain.

Fly free sweet Axl:sorrow: you hold the love of many in your heart. RIP!
 
I read this through tears and an ache in my heart for you. You had the love and courage to let Axl go to be free of pain.

Fly free sweet Axl:sorrow: you hold the love of many in your heart. RIP!
Thank you. It is so hard. It’s like the intensity of love you give and they give back to the intensity you feel when u have to let them go is the same difference.
 
This breaks my heart for you. I’m so deeply sorry. I’m sat here with tears in my eyes :(

Axel sure was lucky to have you in his life. What a special life he lived and what a gift you gave him. You showed him true love by letting him go, that’s the purest act of love there is.

I know words do little to ease the pain you feel right now but keep the memories close to your heart and know that I’m keeping you in mine.

RIP sweet boy :sorrow:

Thank you. I really needed to hear your words, from this group...just needed some support. It does help.
His last day I lyed on the floor with him, explaining all the love I had for him, asked for his forgiveness for what I thought was best, and hugged and kissed him. I feel like I told him everything I ever could. That I had given my all, I tried. And sorry I could not save him twice .
 
asked for his forgiveness for what I thought was best


I have no doubt there was no reason to ask for forgiveness. He was most likely glad he had you to speak for him and make the best decision.
A friend made me a card when I lost one of my dogs. It had this poem in it that I think help me put things in perspective.
A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign him to a place of honor,
for he has been a faithful servant
and has always done his best to please me.

Bless the hands that send him to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing him from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of his life
with the love he has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor him
by sharing those memories with others.

Let him remember me as well
and let him know that I will always love him.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow him to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of his companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give him to you now.
 

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