HELP! I’m beginning to hate my Dobie!

My 2 yo male Dobie has whined nonstop for 2 years. He is not satisfied unless I am petting him, and he will poke me with his nose repeatedly, paw at me, put his toys in my lap, lie down on my feet, anything to get me to pet him or so he can touch me. When I put him in our fenced in backyard, he mostly sits at the back door, scratches at it, and whines loudly until he is led in. When I try to pet him, he begins licking at my hand nonstop and pawing at my hand so that I can’t even pet him very well. This is all extremely frustrating. I have tried many times to make this dog happy but quite frankly this is not what I want in a dog. This is like having a one year-old baby with colic crying all the time. I’m more than willing to give the dog attention to give the dog exercise and do what I need to do but he’s not going to run my life as he is attempting to do now. I’m sure there’s some anxiety issue but I’m a stay at home mom so he often has 24 hour access to me every day.
All advice is appreciated.

Sounds like you have a nice Doberman. If you don’t want him to run your life, then don’t let him. Crate him or separate yourself from him when you don’t want him overbearing you.

He has you well-trained! Go back to basics, enforce your rules in a firm but fair way.

Get your partner or a friend to help you. Whatever word you use for stop, whether “off” or “leave it” etc, have your partner watching closely and zap her with the shock collar if she doesn’t respond to the command. You can do it yourself too, but they are very aware that you are holding the control button. Sasha can be pushy too. She will learn.

Since this has been going on for 2 years you'll find it more difficult to change, but it can be done. Instead of thinking of it as a baby with colic needing constant attention (that puts you into a mindset of "this dog needs me to do X"), try changing your mindset to comparing him to a 9 year old boy in the toy section of Walmart asking, begging, pleading for this toy, that toy and another game and you keep letting him put them in the cart. If you constantly or even occasionally let him have his way even when you don't want him to have more toys, or don't have the money to buy more toys, he's controlling you. You set your boundaries with your dog, learn to say no, and don't waffle on it ever. If he knows his basic commands and has a bed somewhere, have him down/stay there. A crate makes it easier and in your situation I'd certainly use one, but the self discipline of a down-stay puts it at a different level: You aren't putting him away, he's staying in place for you.
Firm but fair, consistent and persistent. Don't allow him to practice what you don't want. Whining is the worst and is really hard to stop, it's like they don't even know that they're doing it.

The best thing for a dog that is this clingy is giving him games or projects that he does without your help. My personal favorite is nose work. You can start by hiding a couple of treats in a room, bring him in and say "find it!" in an excited way. Don't make it hard, just put it behind a table leg or near a baseboard. A happy dance & a treat from your hand when he finds the hidden one. Once he learns that "find it" means a free treat, you can make it harder. More hides, different rooms, in the fenced yard etc. Most Dobermans love this game and if you want you can learn about competitive nose work trials where they find specific odors. At any rate, little brain games like this that work his brain tend to be satisfying because the involve you, but it takes his own brain power figure it out on his own. And if the kids are old enough they learn how to do it too.

@Superpinkgirl any improvements?

As @Ravenbird suggested, "Find It" can be rewarding in so many ways (for both of you).

To me, it sounds like you have a very bored dog. There are so many things you can do to exercise his brain. Aside from Scent Work, there's Trick Dog which takes all of 3-5 minutes at least 2-3x a day and build up to a little longer.

AKC offers :
Virtual Scent Work
Virtual Rally
Virtual Trick Dog
Virtual Home Manners
and probably more

There's also Do More With Your Dog

Even if you don't send in for the titles, they all give lists of things to work on.

Superpinkgirl said:

My 2 yo male Dobie has whined nonstop for 2 years. He is not satisfied unless I am petting him, and he will poke me with his nose repeatedly, paw at me, put his toys in my lap, lie down on my feet, anything to get me to pet him or so he can touch me. When I put him in our fenced in backyard, he mostly sits at the back door, scratches at it, and whines loudly until he is led in. When I try to pet him, he begins licking at my hand nonstop and pawing at my hand so that I can’t even pet him very well. This is all extremely frustrating. I have tried many times to make this dog happy but quite frankly this is not what I want in a dog. This is like having a one year-old baby with colic crying all the time. I’m more than willing to give the dog attention to give the dog exercise and do what I need to do but he’s not going to run my life as he is attempting to do now. I’m sure there’s some anxiety issue but I’m a stay at home mom so he often has 24 hour access to me every day.
All advice is appreciated.

Click to expand...

I can understand your frustration. I am stay at home as well. My boys are in school otherwise idk if I could handle my Doberman. She needs a lot and at first I was at her beckoning call. My husband said we need to stop this she needs to be alone at times. She was running out lives. Love her to pieces and she gets more than enough and I’m thankful I can provide that for her. Although, we really started crate time as a nonnegotiable for nap and night time sleep there as well. She also is on her leash in the home, she’s still tiny, but needs boundaries. I’m working with her everyday on place while she is leashed. Sometimes she isn’t and she’ll stay there. I swear I spend all my time in the darn kitchen so I have her place bed in there. It works and she is learning to chill while there. It’s been a massive help.

I suggest for your sanity, because I’ve been there too, work on “place stay” and make him stay there for periods of time, lots of good training videos online for that. Also, crate time to decompress and for you to get time for you and stuff you need to do. Maybe even feed him in there or make it a game of his kibble or whatever you feed him toss in there to get him in and then pop some through the top openings and say find it. Then whatever word you want to use for him to relax and or sleep. Good luck!

Superpinkgirl said:

My 2 yo male Dobie has whined nonstop for 2 years. He is not satisfied unless I am petting him, and he will poke me with his nose repeatedly, paw at me, put his toys in my lap, lie down on my feet, anything to get me to pet him or so he can touch me. When I put him in our fenced in backyard, he mostly sits at the back door, scratches at it, and whines loudly until he is led in. When I try to pet him, he begins licking at my hand nonstop and pawing at my hand so that I can’t even pet him very well. This is all extremely frustrating. I have tried many times to make this dog happy but quite frankly this is not what I want in a dog. This is like having a one year-old baby with colic crying all the time. I’m more than willing to give the dog attention to give the dog exercise and do what I need to do but he’s not going to run my life as he is attempting to do now. I’m sure there’s some anxiety issue but I’m a stay at home mom so he often has 24 hour access to me every day.
All advice is appreciated.

Click to expand...

Hello Superpinkgirl. I feel your pain. My guy is a HUGE Euro monster and at 1.5 yrs old, things are getting worse, not better. I'm losing control and I def need to switch things up because what I'm doing is not working. There's so much to read on here & my eyeballs are hanging out from all the time on my phone. I try hard to not lose patience. If it does happen, stop & continue later. Small training sessions are better than one long one. I, for sure have to learn more about nose work & I've just introduced a clicker. I've never had this problem at all with my past two Dobes. This guy has really challenged me. Good luck. Please give us updates.

Superpinkgirl said:

My 2 yo male Dobie has whined nonstop for 2 years. He is not satisfied unless I am petting him, and he will poke me with his nose repeatedly, paw at me, put his toys in my lap, lie down on my feet, anything to get me to pet him or so he can touch me. When I put him in our fenced in backyard, he mostly sits at the back door, scratches at it, and whines loudly until he is led in. When I try to pet him, he begins licking at my hand nonstop and pawing at my hand so that I can’t even pet him very well. This is all extremely frustrating. I have tried many times to make this dog happy but quite frankly this is not what I want in a dog. This is like having a one year-old baby with colic crying all the time. I’m more than willing to give the dog attention to give the dog exercise and do what I need to do but he’s not going to run my life as he is attempting to do now. I’m sure there’s some anxiety issue but I’m a stay at home mom so he often has 24 hour access to me every day.
All advice is appreciated.

Click to expand...

Looks like you've got some great advice above. What type of training are you doing with him? How much mental and physical stimulation is he getting? Dobies want to be engaged with their hoomans. You can give them all the toys to play with, let them go outside, etc. but at the end of the day, they are looking for engagement with you. Remember that mental stimulation is way more exhausting than physical. Digging, barking, whining, chewing furniture, pawing at you, etc. are all signs of them pleading to you to help them release their pent up energy. Start doing more mental enrichment with them and and some physical. Once you find the balance, all he will want to do is go to sleep. After our sessions, my boy is standing by his crate waiting for me to give him his topple with some peanut butter in it so he can settle and sleep.

I found an amazing lady on Facebook. Her name is Sharon and she works with Dobermans in the UK. She has virtual classes that have helped me tremendously with my boy. Her programs are amazing and affordable. Follow her on Facebook at Dobercademy and you can see some of her videos of her work. She teaches you to understand your Dobie and how to better communicate with them and fulfill their needs. Hope this helps.

Cranekc35 said:

Looks like you've got some great advice above. What type of training are you doing with him? How much mental and physical stimulation is he getting? Dobies want to be engaged with their hoomans. You can give them all the toys to play with, let them go outside, etc. but at the end of the day, they are looking for engagement with you. Remember that mental stimulation is way more exhausting than physical. Digging, barking, whining, chewing furniture, pawing at you, etc. are all signs of them pleading to you to help them release their pent up energy. Start doing more mental enrichment with them and and some physical. Once you find the balance, all he will want to do is go to sleep. After our sessions, my boy is standing by his crate waiting for me to give him his topple with some peanut butter in it so he can settle and sleep.

I found an amazing lady on Facebook. Her name is Sharon and she works with Dobermans in the UK. She has virtual classes that have helped me tremendously with my boy. Her programs are amazing and affordable. Follow her on Facebook at Dobercademy and you can see some of her videos of her work. She teaches you to understand your Dobie and how to better communicate with them and fulfill their needs. Hope this helps.

Click to expand...

Thank you for the reply. This is my 3rd Dobe. I used to show my 2nd one by 10 mos. I'm just not sure what is going on with this guy. He's thick-headed & very different from anything I've experienced. Outside, he has no interest in food. Inside, I cannot get him to self-sooth. I've tried hundreds of dollars in suggested toys, lick mats, chew toys...etc. No interest. I've stuffed them with food, peanut butter...etc... Lukewarm interest. He will never sit and chew unless a real bone with marrow. Never a Kong which my last Dobe would spend 25% of his day playing & chewing. I've tried almost everything at this point. It's very discouraging. He loves tug ropes & frisbee type things. Never catches. Just retrieves. His favorite beside a tug is simply a water filled 2 liter bottle. They don't last long, but they're cheap. Lol. Someone else suggested Dobercademy. I've been watching. Some different things on there I've just started using. Sometimes I can get Lemmy to be interested in food, but he still scans the area for a squirrel. It's all a work in progress, but he's not that young anymore. I will not stop working on him. Frustrating sometimes. But, we continue together with a smile. Thank you.

Superpinkgirl said:

My 2 yo male Dobie has whined nonstop for 2 years. He is not satisfied unless I am petting him, and he will poke me with his nose repeatedly, paw at me, put his toys in my lap, lie down on my feet, anything to get me to pet him or so he can touch me. When I put him in our fenced in backyard, he mostly sits at the back door, scratches at it, and whines loudly until he is led in. When I try to pet him, he begins licking at my hand nonstop and pawing at my hand so that I can’t even pet him very well. This is all extremely frustrating. I have tried many times to make this dog happy but quite frankly this is not what I want in a dog. This is like having a one year-old baby with colic crying all the time. I’m more than willing to give the dog attention to give the dog exercise and do what I need to do but he’s not going to run my life as he is attempting to do now. I’m sure there’s some anxiety issue but I’m a stay at home mom so he often has 24 hour access to me every day.
All advice is appreciated.

Click to expand...

im honestly saying that a doberman is not what you need then. This is my Kira she is always having to "touch" me. The dog is into you however you need to get more of that energy out of it. Keep its mind stimulated.. I have a treadmill also a riding mower where Kira and I go out to the pasture and i let her run with her training collar on. Im disabled but that does not mean I can't get my dog some of the fun time it needs. Did you give in and pet when he whined? or did you ignore it? Did you give it something to chew on when its overly attentive? 2 years is still young for a male to mature. Kira was so crazy up till a month ago she is about to turn 1 but its like she went from crazy puppy to mature dog in a week. She occasionally still does the touching thing with her nose drives me nuts especially if Im bent over ..lol but she loves me . your dog has you as pack leader I imagine? have you did the alpha training? I would suggest reading up on training pups or the issue of overly clingy. Dobermans however are velcro dogs and males do take longer to mature out than females do. Keep him busy happy fed. But just as a child you must ignore the clingy parts sometimes. My strategy is change a bad behavior to a good one. Like if they chew your shoes keep your shoes from them and get a nylabone for them. NO do not keep them in crate its not for punishing the dog its for them to feel safe in like a den. Putting a dog in there constantly when bad they relate the crate to punishment. Find a word like No when its licking and then hand it a chew bone saying good boy.. but I would say read up and study.. Listen to your dogs emotions and work with them.