regretting getting my doberman, seeking advice.

[carad06]

Hi everyone,

I've recently graduated high school and decided to get an 8 month old doberman. About two months ago I started working at a doggy daycare facility, and it made me want a dog really bad. I would be able to take my dog to work with me and I only have a few college classes every week day so I thought it would be a good idea. My family had dobermans growing up so I decided to get one since I am already familiar with the breed.

I found an 8 month old male doberman from a show line breeder, the breeder was going to keep him but he didn't meet all the criteria to be grand champions like his parents. When I went to visit the dog I fell in love with him and I brought him home 3 days later. I've had this dog a little over a week, and I've had a mental breakdown almost everyday. At first he was doing pretty good just skittish of others in my house, but 2 days ago he tried to bite our female yorkie. It was completely unprovoked, he went over to her and started sniffing her face then lunged at her and tried to bite her. The breeder told me he's great with other dogs and fine with cats, then he almost seriously injures our 7 pound yorkie. He's also started growling at our cats which concerns me.

I told the breeder about this and he told me he's just trying to be the boss and I have to let him know that behavior is not ok. I would also like to add that our female yorkie is not spayed, and he is not neutered yet. The breeder suggested neutering because it might make the training easier. Our female yorkie also is not 100% potty trained and will have accidents on the carpet, a few days ago I witnessed him marking over a spot she peed. This really upset me because he is potty trained, and I'm afraid our yorkie having accidents is going to set him back.

Due to him trying to bite our yorkie and growling at our cats I no longer trust him, he is either outside on our deck or in his crate. We don't have a backyard, but I do take him on walks. He's not a super high energy doberman, and the breeder told me he was bred to be a calmer dog. I wanted a dog that could be in the house with me and go places with me, and now I can't even turn my back on him in my home because I'm afraid he will go after our other dog or cats. He has to wear a belly band when he is in the house or he will mark, no matter how many times I clean the carpets he won't stop.

I am mentally exhausted, and I don't know why I thought getting a dog was a good idea. It's so hard to focus on my school work, I've been having to crate him and go to the library every day because I cannot focus with him in the house. I hate to admit it, but this was a stupid decision and I don't think I'm giving this dog what he needs. I've only had him a week but everyday I think to myself how much happier and less stressed I would be if I never got this dog, and I feel horrible admitting that because he is such a sweet and loving boy but I'm exhausted. I don't want to give him back to breeder because I honestly spent a ton of money on him and I won't be able to get it back. I have a family member who has dobermans and a big yard, I feel like he might be happier there. He has an appointment to get neutered in the next few days, which will hopefully stop the marking.

I am honestly lost here, I am just a stressed out college student who made a bad decision and I don't know how to handle it. I could get him neutered and give this some time to improve, or I could ask my family member if he'd be willing to take him. The stress of this dog is so much on me, and the only time I feel normal or happy is when I'm out of the house and not with my dog. Is this puppy blues? is this normal? I feel so guilty for feeling this way, and I can't believe I regret getting the dog I begged and cried to my parents to let me get. Any advice is appreciated

 

[JanS]

If you've only had him for a week he hasn't even had a chance to start bonding with you. He needs a fair chance and he will show you he can be a great dog if you give him some time, attention and training.

Dobermans need to be with their people so locking him out on the deck or in a crate is only going to be more frustrating for him when he was already put in a strange environment he's never known.

Also, you just can't toss him and your Yorkie together and expect them to be immediate friends so it would be best to get a gate and let them know each other before tossing them together. Little dogs can be instigators too, whether you see it or not.

Welcome from Minnesota.

 

[Kaiser2016]

It's not easy to admit being overwhelmed, so good on you for seeking help! I'll also say that I really hope others weigh in before my message gets posted

I've recently graduated high school and decided to get an 8 month old doberman.

Sounds like a life lesson coming up.

I've had this dog a little over a week, and I've had a mental breakdown almost everyday.

Honestly, that sounds about right Dobermans are a real handful! But one week is really not enough time. Think how you would feel being in a brand new environment surrounded by new people and dogs.

He's not a super high energy doberman

I have never heard of this. An 8 month old male that is relaxed? My 8 YEAR old doesn't even relax! LOL this is actually lucky for you. Something positive to focus on!

The breeder suggested neutering because it might make the training easier.

A reputable Doberman breeder shouldn't be suggesting this. It is well known that Dobermans can't be neutered under the age of 1, ideally at the age of 2 when their growth plates have closed. I highly recommend not neutering him over his behavior which is strictly a training issue.

We don't have a backyard, but I do take him on walks.

Ideally, you would have a yard, but owners living in apartments have made it work with a Doberman, so if the commitment is there from you, then you can still manage without a yard.

no matter how many times I clean the carpets he won't stop

How are you cleaning the carpets? You need an enzyme cleaner to really get at the spots. Surely the breeder had him potty trained already? Teach him to not mark in the house. Keep him leashed inside and watch for him sniffing and starting to lift a leg and then interrupt him and immediately go outside and tell him to go pee, praise, reward and keep doing that. We have been in houses where dogs have marked and my Doberman KNOWS he cannot do that inside. It's a training issue.

I am mentally exhausted

Yes, I know. A Doberman can have that affect

I've only had him a week but everyday I think to myself how much happier and less stressed I would be if I never got this dog, and I feel horrible admitting that because he is such a sweet and loving boy but I'm exhausted.

I had these feelings too and it was definitely a learning curve. First time Dobering is not for everyone! Can you focus on the sweet and loving side of him to help yourself get through this adjustment period? He'll be the best dog you ever had, even the dog of your dreams if you put in the work to build that.

I have a family member who has dobermans and a big yard, I feel like he might be happier there.

This sounds like an amazing plan B if you meant that he has experience with Dobermans. If he has a male Doberman right now, then this may be a tricky option due to same sex aggression.

He has an appointment to get neutered in the next few days, which will hopefully stop the marking.

Marking is a training issue, neutering will not solve this and you'll only be opening him up to the risk of joint injuries.

All that said, please think it through carefully. Keep asking questions if you need more help.

 

[carad06]

It's not easy to admit being overwhelmed, so good on you for seeking help! I'll also say that I really hope others weigh in before my message gets posted

Sounds like a life lesson coming up.

Honestly, that sounds about right Dobermans are a real handful! But one week is really not enough time. Think how you would feel being in a brand new environment surrounded by new people and dogs.


I have never heard of this. An 8 month old male that is relaxed? My 8 YEAR old doesn't even relax! LOL this is actually lucky for you. Something positive to focus on!

A reputable Doberman breeder shouldn't be suggesting this. It is well known that Dobermans can't be neutered under the age of 1, ideally at the age of 2 when their growth plates have closed. I highly recommend not neutering him over his behavior which is strictly a training issue.

Ideally, you would have a yard, but owners living in apartments have made it work with a Doberman, so if the commitment is there from you, then you can still manage without a yard.

How are you cleaning the carpets? You need an enzyme cleaner to really get at the spots. Surely the breeder had him potty trained already? Teach him to not mark in the house. Keep him leashed inside and watch for him sniffing and starting to lift a leg and then interrupt him and immediately go outside and tell him to go pee, praise, reward and keep doing that. We have been in houses where dogs have marked and my Doberman KNOWS he cannot do that inside. It's a training issue.

Yes, I know. A Doberman can have that affect

I had these feelings too and it was definitely a learning curve. First time Dobering is not for everyone! Can you focus on the sweet and loving side of him to help yourself get through this adjustment period? He'll be the best dog you ever had, even the dog of your dreams if you put in the work to build that.

This sounds like an amazing plan B if you meant that he has experience with Dobermans. If he has a male Doberman right now, then this may be a tricky option due to same sex aggression.

Marking is a training issue, neutering will not solve this and you'll only be opening him up to the risk of joint injuries.

All that said, please think it through carefully. Keep asking questions if you need more help.

I appreciate the advice thank you! He is potty trained and he hasn't had an actual accident in the house, I know he's marking because he's only peeing a little bit and the back door was open so he could have just gone outside. I clean the carpets with a normal cleaner but I will look into something stronger. I will give him more time and work on training, I might be throwing too much at him at once.

 

[Ddski5]

I really hope I do not come across being harsh, just being honest.

- he does not need to be neutered. It is not going to change his attitude or personality. This is a stupid assertion by your breeder.
- he needs more discipline and training you are giving, that’s why he appears out of control.
- you are in school and don’t have the time, energy or patience to properly raise a Doberman at this time.
- to continue on is going to be havoc on you and your household
- he will not change unless giving the proper discipline and training.
- Time is actually your enemy, the longer you wait to properly train, the more of a bull he will become. It’s there in him, one just has to mold and put in the “daily” energy to hone his personality and persona.

So sorry this is happening to you but a Doberman needs lots of daily time, energy, consistency and patience. I sure hope you find a solution to this because he can be a fantastic Doberman….he just needs somebody to invest the shitload of daily time to make it happen.

 

[Ravenbird]

Almost everything I was thinking has been said. I wish you the best. If you can commit to full on training, keeping him on a leash in the house while you are there to prevent him from hurting your Yorkie or cats and to stop the marking, you can make him the dog of your dreams. If you are in over your head and you know that in your heart you can't commit, then go to plan B and re-home him or return him to the breeder. Dobermans are extremely sensitive but bull-headed and want to take charge. Just about their worst period of training and ignoring what you insist on is what we call the Doberteens. Which starts right about now for your boy. It won't be easy, you're young and have a ton to learn and do if you decide to keep him, and this forum is full of tough love when it comes to helping. Tonight read through some of the training & behavior threads, search the words Doberteens, Marking, living with small dog, cats etc. You'll get an idea of what it takes to fix these things, plus the bonus of not feeling like it's just you. We've all been there.

 

[Rits]

I imagine your breeder has a contract that you must return him to them should things not work out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this realization that he may be too much than you have time for. Don't feel stupid if you truly feel in over your head. It'll be ok. Better to be honest with yourself than to struggle through and still be unhappy in the end and the dog suffer. There will be another time you will know when you are ready for a doberman puppy.

If you are going to try to make it work I would crate him when he isn't able to be watched or use a baby gate for the little ones. Never leave him out alone with the small animals. Do not neuter him until he reaches 2. Marking is a learned behavior and it won't deter him and he needs those hormones for growth. How old is the yorkie? I'd try to get her potty training under control and use an enzymatic cleaner, maybe rent a carpet cleaner even, to help. I personally use odoban. Do you use a crate for the yorkie? That will help with potty training as they don't want to soil where they sleep.

 

[BGpa]

Return him to the breeder, is my advice.

Its not a judgement just a simple acknowledgemt that you were not realistic or ready in the first place.

A dobe pup needs more than you can give right now. Its best for the pup and you.

The purchase cost is a "sunk cost" which means dont throw good money after bad.

Accept this life lesson with humility and learn from it.

 

[carad06]

I imagine your breeder has a contract that you must return him to them should things not work out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this realization that he may be too much than you have time for. Don't feel stupid if you truly feel in over your head. It'll be ok. Better to be honest with yourself than to struggle through and still be unhappy in the end and the dog suffer. There will be another time you will know when you are ready for a doberman puppy.

If you are going to try to make it work I would crate him when he isn't able to be watched or use a baby gate for the little ones. Never leave him out alone with the small animals. Do not neuter him until he reaches 2. Marking is a learned behavior and it won't deter him and he needs those hormones for growth. How old is the yorkie? I'd try to get her potty training under control and use an enzymatic cleaner, maybe rent a carpet cleaner even, to help. I personally use odoban. Do you use a crate for the yorkie? That will help with potty training as they don't want to soil where they sleep.

The yorkie is almost 2 years old. She isn’t my dog, she was impulsively bought by one of my family members and they never committed to potty training her. The past few months I’ve stepped up and tried to potty train her but she thinks the carpet is where she’s supposed to go, 80% of our house is carpet so it’s been hard to train her. I do crate her at night. I appreciate the advice! I think I’m going to give him some more time, commit more to training him and see if things improve. If not he will probably go to my family member who has Dobermans, I only want the best for him

 

[Ddski5]

The yorkie is almost 2 years old. She isn’t my dog, she was impulsively bought by one of my family members and they never committed to potty training her. The past few months I’ve stepped up and tried to potty train her but she thinks the carpet is where she’s supposed to go, 80% of our house is carpet so it’s been hard to train her. I do crate her at night. I appreciate the advice! I think I’m going to give him some more time, commit more to training him and see if things improve. If not he will probably go to my family member who has Dobermans, I only want the best for him

I am impressed.
I remember the amount of time/attention of college and am reminded weekly from my daughters…

So not gonna be negative but more positive this time.

- when home with him, put him on a short 3-4ft leash and make him go everywhere you go and control him. Make him understand you are in control, you are the bringer of fun and happiness. Keep a pocket of kibble and everytime he makes eye contact with him, give him a treat. Everytime he sits, give him a treat. Everytime he is good, give him a treat. The short leash method really works especially if you do it during breakfast lunch dinner. His food should not be given to him in a bowl but rather hand fed to him in short amounts as positive treats for being good and rewarded.

You need to try your best to become his primary focus and when you win his 100% attention then some of his bad antics will dissipate. But hard to do with a puppy/teenager, they want to roam and explore, to be self indulgent on what feels good to them rather than doing the right thing. This is why daily training is imperative- to create a routine, disciplined foundation. If you are capable of doing this then you will win the small battles and ultimately win the war.

Not gonna lie, Doberteens are tough. That age is just hard. Nipping, biting, jumping….have to redirect with commands then reward with toys or treats/kibble. Over and over and over until they finally get it- and when they get it and turn gold, it’s just fricking awesome.

Good luck and ask questions if need.
Lots of great folks here with lots of knowledge and experience.

 

[JanS]

Not gonna lie, Doberteens are tough. That age is just hard. Nipping, biting, jumping….have to redirect with commands then reward with toys or treats/kibble. Over and over and over until they finally get it- and when they get it and turn gold, it’s just fricking awesome.

That's definitely true and it's the age where they're maturing and they're going to try to test you for all you're worth. Our first Doberman was a real challenge at that age and after that, I had an idea of what to expect and how to stay a step ahead of them so it made it much easier.

 

[Rits]

If not he will probably go to my family member who has Dobermans

Does he not have a contract to be returned to his breeder? At least get in touch with your breeder and let them know that you would like to place him with your family member so that they are aware and can exchange contact information.

Not going to lie but it's going to be an incredible challenge to stop marking with the Yorkie not being potty trained.

 

[carad06]

Does he not have a contract to be returned to his breeder? At least get in touch with your breeder and let them know that you would like to place him with your family member so that they are aware and can exchange contact information.

Not going to lie but it's going to be an incredible challenge to stop marking with the Yorkie not being potty trained.

I plan on talking to the breeder first, it’s not in the written portion of our contract but it may be implied.

 

[LucyXIII]

That's definitely true and it's the age where they're maturing and they're going to try to test you for all you're worth. Our first Doberman was a real challenge at that age and after that, I had an idea of what to expect and how to stay a step ahead of them so it made it much easier.

I'm over here hoping that drawing on the wisdom of others will give me some benefit of their experience.

 

[Kaiser2016]

I think I’m going to give him some more time, commit more to training him and see if things improve. If not he will probably go to my family member who has Dobermans, I only want the best for him

This sounds like a good plan! Keep asking for support as well. Would love to see a picture of your DoberDevil

 

[Ddski5]

If he is a barker or whiner in the crate…be careful and not let him out- this will only reward the behavior and implant that barking/whining gets a reward. Make him be quiet for at least 3mins.

If you have time…all meal times are great training sessions because you can hand feed and reward behavior. I always had a sandwich baggie full of kibble in my pocket, when not training, in case he did something good and I wanted to reward it.

Between two Dobermans, my first was difficult for me because of a couple of reasons: he was my first Doberman and I had not experienced the DoberShark and Doberteen stages. I think the biggest things I learned with him was just consistent repetition of the rules, boundaries and daily obedient training for about 30mins. He was so hard because he was such a beast that had an independent mind. He always wanted to do what he wanted to do.

I really hope yours has more of an attitude/personality of my second Doberman. She is sweet and is eager to please. In many ways, she is the complete opposite of my first Doberman. Still had to train and discipline through the DoberShark and Doberteen stages but she is not a rebel, rather a pleaser and easier to train.

It would be great if you can get through the first 9 months and establish a disciplined foundation. Then once he settles and matures some, he will be significantly easier.

Are you posting his ears?

 

[Two Dobes]

Wondering how this is all going? Hope you check in with an update!