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Re-homing Mickey :'(

Discussion in 'Rescue & Adoption' started by Mickey's Mom, Dec 10, 2013.

  1. Mickey's Mom

    Mickey's Mom Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    Hey guys, I'm extremely depressed at the moment. I just got a new job, my dream job. I haven't even gotten happy about it.

    I will be working 12 hrs a day 4+ days a week. My husband has been traveling like a madman. For the past 2 weeks we haven't been able to spend any time with Mickey aside from the time we fall asleep on the couch together from exhaustion.

    My husband has suggested that we find Mickey a forever home where he will be taken care of the way he deserves to be. Trained and exercised like he needs to be. I hate to agree with him. I can't stand the thought of giving up my beloved Mickey.

    Because of our lack of attention this past week he has become "wild". Won't listen to us, runs like a maniac becoming a danger to my 1 year old son (knocks him over with his clumsyness) and will destroy his posts over night. Every. Single. Night.

    I'm so heartbroken :'(

    Would you guys please help us find a forever home for an extention of my heart and soul?
  2. Marinegeekswife

    Marinegeekswife Hot Topics Subscriber

    Is doggie daycare an option?
    • Like Like x 4
  3. Mickey's Mom

    Mickey's Mom Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    I didn't think of that. It may not be, financially, but I will look into it. We now also have to hire a nanny for my son which will cost us an arm and leg. :\
    • Like Like x 2
  4. gettinggreyer

    gettinggreyer Hot Topics Subscriber

    Can dog care be included with the nanny care? The nanny would already be there to let the dog out.
    It's like giving a child away.
    • Like Like x 12
  5. DocReverto

    DocReverto Formerly CRD

    ^ This.
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Dobs4ever

    Dobs4ever Hot Topics Subscriber

    One of the biggest reasons breeders hesitate to let young families have a dog. Responsibility!!!
    • Like Like x 9
  7. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I can't tell you how depressing this is to me too. Dogs are my family and just as you are making plans for your child because of your job, thinking of Mickey should be in your plans too. Maybe giving him away IS your plan but I wish it included him too. I understand that life can throw us a curve ball and I don't want to make you feel worse than you do. But I hope you can adjust a few things in your life to accommodate him too. :(
    Exactly. Lack of attention and direction will many times result in this. :( That and the turmoil in the house that he can sense. Remember it may trickle down to your son as well. This is a big change in your life. Some for the better (that dream job! :) ) and some not (wondering what to do with Mickey) Things will be in turmoil for a while but I hope the nanny that you have for your son can also help you with Mickey. That would be a wonderful solution. I wish you the best and please keep us informed. Hugs!
    • Like Like x 10
  8. JanS

    JanS DCF Owner Administrative Staff Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I'm so sorry you're facing this decision and I know we all have to work for a living.

    I like this idea too!
    • Like Like x 3
  9. dh8

    dh8 Hot Topics Subscriber

    I don't understand why the nanny you're hiring for your son couldn't also have some minimal duties to care for the dog. You only need to cover 4 days of the week. The rest of the time you can step up your exercise and training with him again. It really can fit into any schedule if you approach it with a willingness to make adjustments. Your husband is traveling a lot right now but he does get notice of when he has to travel. You can plan on his help around that schedule too. Odds are his travel will ease up in the near future and give you even more options.

    If you step up your training for a bit to ensure your dog can loose leash walk well, why couldn't your nanny take the dog along with your child when they go out for fresh air during the day? throw the ball a bit when your child is napping? Any child care we've ever had always included our dogs. Never any additional charge for the minimal amount we ask them to do with the dogs either.

    You can also work in things to include the dog when you play with your child. For any other family member, you would make some slight adjustments to meet everyone's needs. If you think with an open mind you'll find lots of things you could make a little change on to keep the family happy and together.

    It doesn't even have to cost you anything. When your husband isn't traveling, no reason he couldn't do a quick 30 minute bike ride with your dog jogging along or small things like that. You waste way more than 30 minutes surfing or watching tv daily. The exercise is great for clearing the stress of the work day and becomes addictive. All good stuff.

    Maybe you can trade off exercise/play times with a friend with a dog or with dog and kids so you could do a whole group fun time. Group play and trade offs can really be nice and get bring friends closer while giving them flexibility in their schedule. Maybe plan on a lot more crock pot or meals on your work days so you have a little more free time. Maybe make a double batch of dinner on your days off and freeze one so all you have to do is reheat when you're working. whatever things you can think of will help. 12 hour shifts are an adjustment but having 3 days off really gives you lots of options to make everything work at home.

    I hope you can work it out.
    • Like Like x 8
  10. Poppy

    Poppy Active Member

    Although it may not be ideal, I would just spend extra time with him on your days off and try to get your nanny to help out on the days you work like everyone else said. I don't think your new schedule is a good enough reason to have to place him into a new home. I also think he will adjust especially as he gets older to the new schedule. While have you home with him more is ideal, I think he can still be happy and well adjusted in your home with your new schedule.
    • Like Like x 4
  11. MicheleM

    MicheleM Active Member

    I always get upset when I hear this story, it's certainly not the first time and sadly it's not going to be the last time. When you bring a puppy into your life you are responabile for him and he's not a stuffed animal to be handed over to some one else when it's not convenient to have him anymore. Dobermans are sensitive creatures that need stability and structure, guidance and love. If you have to place him make sure he's going to a home that is going to love him, and provide a safe, stable for-ever home.

    I'm not going to give you the reasons to reconsider keeping him as several members have already done so. If your mind is made up make sure this dog gets the home he deserves.
    • Like Like x 8
  12. Judith

    Judith Hot Topics Subscriber

    have you been in touch with your breeder? she/he should take him back with him being so young far better than you giving him to strangers that will most likely pass him on as he has had no training and time spent with him, like others have said I don't want to make it worse but this little boy is your family, you committed when you brought him into your lives he has no decision in his life , please please do not give him up without trying your best to work around your problems, maybe if you read this it will change your decision, :(.

    How Could You?

    When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was bad, youd shake your finger at me and ask How could you? - but then youd relent, and roll me over for a belly rub.

    My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because ice cream is bad for dogs, you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

    Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

    She, now your wife, is not a dog person - still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love.

    As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touchbecause your touch was now so infrequentand I would have defended them with my life if need be.

    I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered yes and changed the subject. I had gone from being your dog to just a dog, and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

    Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. Youve made the right decision for your family, but there was a time when I was your only family.

    I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said I know you will find a good home for her. They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with papers. You had to pry your sons fingers loose from my collar as he screamed No, Daddy! Please dont let them take my dog! And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

    After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked How could you?

    They are all attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was youthat you had changed your mindthat this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

    I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

    She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, How could you?

    Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said Im so sorry. She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldnt be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myselfa place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my How could you? was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

    May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

    The End

    • Like Like x 9
  13. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I meant to ask you that too. I would still try the nanny and keeping him in your life. Everyone's made some great suggestions that I sincerely hope will help you. If all else fails, I would contact the breeder for help. Rehoming your baby with the breeder will at least give him a good chance at a good home. It's so hard to trust anything else.
    • Like Like x 7
  14. Archer

    Archer Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I'm sad to hear this. Please don't get rid of your boy!! This is totally workable! I work anywhere from 10-15 hour days 4-5 days a week and I also am helping Katja by running Euro Dog Designs out of my house. It's a commitment of at least 20 hours a week right now. I also take call one night a week and work every fourth weekend. I have three dogs. My two Dobermans are still puppies (18 weeks and 23 months) I make the time for them because they are special to me. I dedicate the first hour after I get home to them. We play and walk and train until I need to get to work again. I understand certain circumstances happen, but right now it seems that there are a few unknowns in your life. Could you maybe try keeping him to see if you can make this work before assuming your new schedule won't allow time for Mickey? Who knows what will happen once you start working. Your schedule might allow more time for Mickey than you think.

    What about paying a trusting neighbor kid or family member a few dollars to come over and walk him? I've payed my niece (who's 11 years old) $10 once to walk my babies and she thought it was awesome! Doggie daycare or your nanny is also a good suggestion.

    Please reconsider rehoming him! Congrats on your new job btw! Definitely something to celebrate!
    • Like Like x 10
  15. DocReverto

    DocReverto Formerly CRD

    I have to agree with Ainsley. Adding in my drive I work 10 hours a day. Monday-Friday. I have four now, and no issue. It requires extra work, but it can easily be done.
    • Like Like x 10
  16. dh8

    dh8 Hot Topics Subscriber

    Really hope you work it out! We've always made things work with dogs, kids and work by keeping our "must haves" (jobs, dogs/pets, kids and family meals) on the table and planning from there. I can't even say it's extra work, just a little extra planning and flexibility.
    • Like Like x 6
  17. obbanner

    obbanner $ Premium Subscriber $ Hot Topics Subscriber

    My first Dobie was 11 months old when I got her and I lived in an apartment in the city. I worked for myself and was often gone 12 hours or more. She was fine with it and we had a good life in the city. Please reconsider. Is there overlap with your husbands schedule, so that Mickey's time alone won't be so long?
    • Like Like x 9
  18. titan1

    titan1 Notable member

    hire a dog walker??
    • Like Like x 1
  19. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    Mickey's Mom How are things going? I see you've gotten a lot of great advice and seeing what others have done in similar circumstances. I hope this helps you with a new plan for keeping Mickey in your family. :D
    • Like Like x 4
  20. Mickey's Mom

    Mickey's Mom Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    Mickey was rehomed today. His new parents are in their fortys and have no human children. They have two other dobes who fell in love with Mickey at first sight. They live an hour away and we will have monthly visits until I can cope better with having him gone and keep a close eye on the new parents.

    I tried very hard to keep him. I even tried to change my schedule at work and was willing to go back to my old position, but it was already filled and my boss wouldn't have it. My husband doesn't have the option 'not' to travel.

    Please don't bash us and our decision. I've been crying all afternoon. I feel like I just lost a child, but I know it's for the best. It was the right thing to do. He will now have a brother and sister to play with all day and new parents who will love him like their own child.
    • Like Like x 12

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