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Oscar's Birthday is coming up :(

Discussion in 'Memorials' started by Kandeebee, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. Kandeebee

    Kandeebee Notable member

    My wonderful boxer, Oscar, would have been 5 on January 24th. In July we went away for the weekend and left him with family. The same day we left he got out and was hit by a car. We were and still are devastated. He was such a great dog and so cute and loving. I always think about how we could have done things differently. :( Anyways, my sister in law got his ashes in a box and a paw print. Everything is still in the bag and pushed back in a cabinet in the kitchen. I just can't stand to look at it. I really wish she never did it. My husband wants to put it on the trail we always walked him on, but it makes me so sad to do that. What would you do? I still cry just thinking about him. I miss him so much. image.jpg

     
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  2. Ingrid H

    Ingrid H Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    I'm sorry :( He was adorable and I bet he made you laugh a lot. With time the sadness will go away and the good memories of Oscar will remain. You'll smile again when you think of him. I'd just keep the ashes tucked away for now.
     
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  3. GennyB

    GennyB Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    So sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose your buddy, especially when it's so unexpected. Ingrid is right, it does get better. Just give yourself time for your heart to heal.
    As far as the ashes go, you will find that one day, when you are ready, you will know what to do.
     
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  4. Brienna

    Brienna Hot Topics Subscriber

    I think the best thing you can do is try to not blame yourself. You did what you thought was best at the time and sometimes things happen no matter how careful we are or how well we try to prepare/plan. Take the time you need to heal and you'll know what to do when the time is right.
     
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  5. Gelcoater

    Gelcoater Expert ThreadCrapper $ Premium Subscriber $ Hot Topics Subscriber

    Kandeebee so sorry for your loss:(
    If its any consolation,we had to put down our girl Maxie of 15 years in December.
    We too have the box of ashes and paw print.We plan to spread her ashes over the hills and trails she liked to walk with us.We just haven't gathered the mental strength to do it yet.
    When the time is right I know we will have to give our final good bye.
     
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  6. Rach

    Rach Hot Topics Subscriber

    He looks absolutely adorable in those pictures... I bet there were lots of laughs with him around.... I agree with the others.. keep the ashes in the cabinet.. you will one day be able to do with them what you are wanting...
     
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  7. Ingrid H

    Ingrid H Hot Topics Subscriber $ Forum Donor $

    I wish Dobermans came in brindle like Boxers ;)
     
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  8. Archer

    Archer Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    How tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss. He had such a sweet, expressive face. RIP Oscar.

    I agree that you should not blame yourself. You did what you thought was the best thing for him. I think it's normal for us to try to play the what if game after experiencing such a loss. It's not fair of you to do that to yourself. Keep Oscar's memory strong in your heart. You will know when the timing is right to pay tribute to him and however you decide to do it will be perfect for you. In my opinion it's best not to rush these things.

    I still cry when I think of my dog, Sabrina. We lost her two years ago this March. It still hurts very badly to think of her. I will probably cry when thinking of her for many years to come as you will Oscar. Our dogs come into our lives and weasel their way into our hearts forever. When they leave us, that spot always remains. This way, they can never be forgotten.

    Thinking of you. Hugs sent your way from us.
     
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  9. Kandeebee

    Kandeebee Notable member

    Thanks everyone. I'm just gonna keep asking my husband to wait. I'm not ready to do that yet.

    He really was the best dog. So good with my son when he was a baby...my son would crawl to him just to poke him in the eye and oscar would just lay there. This is the last pic I took of him. Just days before that weekend. My son was bringing him stuffed animals to sleep with. :) image.jpg

    :( I really miss him. He also loved going to the river with us. He'd swim forever. Maybe I'll be ready this summer and we can take his ashes there.
     
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  10. obbanner

    obbanner $ Premium Subscriber $ Hot Topics Subscriber

    Sorry to read about Oscar's early death. I found the dog that died before his time, Banner, is the one I mourn the most. The ones that had full lives are celebrated when I remember them, even if they are hugely missed. But the one who died shortly after he turned 6 was in what should have been the prime years of his life and I'm still sad when I think about him.

    Everybody has their own way of mourning and I hope you come to find peace. Take your time with Oscars remains and then do what you think is right.
     
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  11. JanS

    JanS DCF Owner Administrative Staff Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    I'm so sorry for your loss and he was beautiful. We used to have a Boxer too and he was such a great boy.

    I know your devastation and I couldn't move any of Boris' things out of the normal places for a while because I just couldn't accept the fact that he was no longer with us (he was hit by a car when he was 4 too).

    With our first beloved boy Otis, who we lost at just under 16 years we planned to scatter his ashes out in the woods where we'd take him for runs, but when the time came we know the place he loved best was being by our sides all the time, so the ashes just had to stay in the house with us in a beautiful wooden urn. Since then we've lost 2 other dogs and keep the same tradition of keeping them in the house next to us where they all lived.
    Urns all feb 12 sized.jpg

    I agree that you'll know what's right in your heart and when it's the right time to do it so don't rush yourself.
     
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  12. Gelcoater

    Gelcoater Expert ThreadCrapper $ Premium Subscriber $ Hot Topics Subscriber

    I think his ashes at the river is a great idea!
    You and Dave being river folks,it would be like visiting him every time your there.
     
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  13. Kandeebee

    Kandeebee Notable member

    We couldn't move any of his things either. Until Gunner chewed up both of Oscar's beds and all his toys :(
    we were also at the river when he died...so that might make it hard too :(. We didn't want to take him on 4th of July weekend. Just too busy....Who knows. I will prob just keep them stashed away forever. :)
     
  14. MyBuddy

    MyBuddy Moderator Hot Topics Subscriber

    Such a tragic story! I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it will get better but we all grieve in our own way and some grieve longer than others. I tend to grieve a long time. :( I couldn't look at pictures of my first Doberman for a couple of years after he died. We were very connected. I also agree with everyone on his ashes. I wouldn't do anything for now. Give yourself some time to heal and think clearly. Sending you a virtual hug! {{{HUGS}}}
     
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