Advice on Possessive Behavior towards me only

[AnakinTheDobie]

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the forum, I came across this while googling an incident that happened this morning.

I have a 13 month old Doberman, he has been a part of family since he was 7 weeks old. He isn't the only pet in the house, he has 2 cat sisters, that we got as kittens so they grew up together.

Well, this morning, we had a possessive incident with a toy that he has never been aggressive towards. He had shown possessiveness towards other toys only twice before but months ago, and has only ever been towards me. My husband has always been able to just ask Anakin to drop the toy and pick it up or just grab the toy from him while playing. And, in the 2 instances that Anakin has growled at me has been where I try to exhibit similar behavior - my drop it command is ignored and if we are playing I am unable to get the toy due to growling. But during these times a trade off of ice cubes usually solved the issue - and he has only ever been possessive of his food once and I was able to correct that behavior by hand feeding and praising him.

(Not sure if this is worth mentioning but I have been out of town for a week and today was my first day back and my husband had to travel out of town so it was just me) Well this morning, we did the normal routine I let him out, gave him breakfast, and let him play with his normal toys while keeping an eye on him and preparing to leave for work. Well as the time approached that he needed to be placed in his kennel, I walked towards the freezer to get his ice cubes (He isn't very food motivated, he is more affection/praise motivated but he loves ice cubes) well he ended up running into his kennel without me telling him and I was like cool got the routine down this will be a simple morning. Well I approached him and placed my hand near his face like I always do to have him drop the toy while showing him the ice cube. Well he was not happy and growled, and I backed off.
*Thinking back on this now I should have just let him keep the ball in his kennel and left for work, but I was worried about leaving him that specific ball since he is a chewer and with enough persistence he would have destroyed it and I didn't want him eating it.*
Anyways, I approach him again and I am trying to patiently get it away from him and he isn't having it, but he did let me touch the ball but would not drop it, he wasn't growling or showing any aggressive behavior at this point so I think okay its working I can get the ball away from him, this goes on for awhile and I can't convince him to drop when he suddenly growls at me again and I lose my patience.
After doing some research I know that this is where I went wrong but I didn't know - I told him "bad boy" and asked him to drop it, I do this multiple times when suddenly he drops the ball and lunges/snaps at me. It caught me off guard and I screamed. I wasn't hurt or anything just very saddened by his behavior. He is a very good boy, always wants attention and always wants to play outside.

At this point he just lays down in his doggy bed (separated from his kennel) and just lays there. I call my husband and start bawling. I was unsure what to do, and Anakin has never shown this level of aggressive behavior towards me, if anything he is always significantly more gentle with me than he is with my husband. Plus it had been a long time since he had ever resourced guarded a toy so I thought we were past this but instead it escalated.

I had to trick him (with the promise of going for a walk) into going to his kennel because he would budge from his "place (doggy bed)" since at this point I was running very late and was just super defeated.

After some research, I know I did quite a few things wrong but I would still appreciate any feedback on how to better approach this situation in the future and how to train him better.

I am very disappointed in myself and very emotional and I just to better handle this and help Anakin. I don't want to doubt him but I know that if this escalates I could be injured.

 

[JanS]

Welcome from Minnesota!

I'm sorry you're going through this but he is playing you big time with you giving him ice cubes or toys to keep him happy. It needs to be the other way around and he needs to behave first for a reward or he's going to be demanding it first asking you to bribe him. You need to be the alpha here and he does not call the shots. Check out NILIF. NILIF - Nothing In Life Is Free

 

[jazzies mum]

Totally agree with @JanS. They are very quick to pick up on any tiny thing they think they have won and will immediately push the envelope further. At 13 months it probably won't take much to get him to reconsider this attitude, but it is really important to never be seen to give in to inappropriate behaviour. He DOES know better, but you will need to be cool, calm and consistent. Hard to do I know as they can be SO annoying, just like a teenager!

 

[Firestar Dobe]

Positive training is important, but it must be balanced with firm and sometimes tough action. You need to have a strong firm voice when telling him to drop it, if he doesn't then you need to take charge of him by grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, flicking his nose or some other action you are comfortable with, while giving a loud, firm no (also stand very tall when doing this) if there is any growling or sign of aggression. This can be a tricky situation, but if it isn't curbed now it will only get worse. Bribing him is the same as giving him control and he will soon refuse to listen to commands. It is going to take time and patience. Please read everything you can on this site about training and behavior. Hang in there, you got this!

 

[Rits]

I would take all toys away and have playing with them come from only you. I would also work on an out command in the meantime. I would also leave a short leash on him (1-3') and if he ever, ever growled (or worse lunged) at you again, you should give a hard correction straight up. There are definitely ways to positively work with him, but he needs a clear understanding that THAT behavior is 100% to not be tolerated so that is where a punisher is necessary. I call it the come to jesus moment. There are times where it is necessary for a come to jesus moment to occur in order to prevent further damage or loss of a life. And a lot of times, that one moment is all that is needed, then you can work on teaching him drop it and having a positive association with you and dropping his toys.

For drop it - Start with a very low value item when training this and work your way up. Do not let him have any high value items right now until this is solid. I do not practice dropping it with high value items often; I do not want to burn my dog out or them thinking I'm going to pester them any time they have a high value item which makes the resource guarding worse. I will ask once in a blue moon to proof my training and they will 100% drop it because they know I have something even better (some bacon, steak etc.) that they will be jackpotted with (fed many pieces back to back) and that I will give it back.

Also, if he isn't already he should not be allowed on furniture until this problem is resolved. I really would see about taking him to some obedience classes. He clearly thinks he doesn't have to listen to you, especially with the added fact that he didn't want to move from his bed. These classes will only strengthen your bond together and have you feeling much better and more confident in your ability! You can do this!

 

[Ravenbird]

Not much I can add to what's already been said. Big dose of tough love on that pup. Zero toys unless it involves you. Zero furniture use. Measure his meal out and instead of putting it in a bowl, put it in a treat pouch and use it for rewards teaching sit, down, come, stay and leave it. Make it fun & exciting and like a game, not a chore. If his walks consists of him pulling you around, put a stop to that as well - it's another form of him being in control. Make YOU be the source of fun & food in his life, not toys. Do crate games with his food: toss it in, let him go get it, then come out and toss again. Even though he's good with going in the crate, it's still good to balance it out with you being involved with making it an interactive fun thing with you every now & then so he doesn't get possessive about that space. As others have said, you can do this!

 

[Katyusharocket]

Any updates on Anakin? Hopefully you've not had many times you've felt utterly defeated since the original post?

Anakin is a cool name, BTW. I love unique names because when you call it, he's the only one looking at you.

 

[AnakinTheDobie]

Hi Everyone!!!

Thank you so much for all the advice, I have read all of it and tried almost everything!
And I am happy to update that Anakin is so much better! Especially using the NILIF technique, he caught on quite quickly and understood that he wasn't getting anything unless he listened to a command first.
I have also made sure to change my attitude and instead of letting him be, I take charge a lot more and he definitely respects my commands a lot better. He is definitely a needy boy, but the maturity/attitude change this past month has left us shocked.

We do hit a few snags here and there but quick correction with a command redirects him and of course as long as I am stern and don't give in he quickly calms down and everything returns to normal.

But we aren't perfect and still have a few things to work on. We still have a bit more training to do with him since we play with him a lot in the backyard and rarely do walks, when we do do walks he can be pretty wild.
We are also currently working on reinforcing the "leave it" command and the "come" command while we play outside - he has no issues with these commands inside the house but every so often while we are outside playing he gets a bit rowdy and refuses to listen.

Thanks again!

 

[Katyusharocket]

But we aren't perfect and still have a few things to work on

Says most of us every day! Any goals achieved are still a win! Glad to read your update!

 

[Ravenbird]

when we do do walks he can be pretty wild.

Have you tried a prong collar? If not, that's a must. It may look awful, but it actually is easier on them than a slip chain, and best of all it's self correcting. They pull, they feel it and quit pulling. They get excited and lunge forward, they feel it and back off. You just hold the leash, you don't have to man-handle anymore.

I'm so happy to see you reported in and it's good news. Most of the time these dogs are begging for a leader because if you don't take charge they feel like they have to. And it's a power trip for a while, but they really really would rather not have to have the CEO job running the whole household. When you step in and say "you stay out of this, I've got control here", secretly I think they breathe a sigh of relief. These Dobermans aren't the easiest, but once you get their respect you have the best dog in the world.

Keep up the good work!

 

[4thJulyDobbir2021]

Have you tried a prong collar? If not, that's a must. It may look awful, but it actually is easier on them than a slip chain, and best of all it's self correcting. They pull, they feel it and quit pulling. They get excited and lunge forward, they feel it and back off. You just hold the leash, you don't have to man-handle anymore.

I'm so happy to see you reported in and it's good news. Most of the time these dogs are begging for a leader because if you don't take charge they feel like they have to. And it's a power trip for a while, but they really really would rather not have to have the CEO job running the whole household. When you step in and say "you stay out of this, I've got control here", secretly I think they breathe a sigh of relief. These Dobermans aren't the easiest, but once you get their respect you have the best dog in the world.

Keep up the good work!

Too true!